Cheers to Fear: A Powerful Life Lesson Happy Women Can’t Live Without

Guest Post by Elspeth Misiaszek

On January 6, 2011 my business partner called me into his office. He looked me right in the eye and said, “I need to go at this solo.”

Right there on the spot, like I was garbage being thrown to the street, he fired me.

My entire body went completely still. A wave of angst and … absolute calm? … washed over me.

Like a flash, all the years of late nights, hundreds of handshakes, thousands of phone calls, and blisters from long days door-knocking zipped right through me. I felt something I’d never, ever imagined I could feel.

I felt grateful. When I joined the company, it was a start-up corporation. I left my job, started dating this man whom I truly believed in, and gave myself, heart and soul, to his lifelong dream of business ownership.

But there was a problem. He simply wasn’t as smart as my naïve rosy glasses made him out to be. He’d miscalculated how much money he’d need for overhead; there wasn’t a dime left over for my salary.

What should have been my leap of faith into a life of entrepreneurial independence quickly turned into a test of loyalty. I’d resigned from my job and moved in with him, leaving behind my old life. There was nothing to go back to.

After a few years, when we ended our relationship, we agreed that I had accrued sweat-equity in the business equivalent to my unpaid wages. He was able to fire me (he was the majority partner regardless) thanks to my own absolute stupidity; I hadn’t gotten our agreement in writing.

It was his loss, as well, to feel he could go at it solo. I earned the business from 50% to 60% of its gross sales, over $120,000 my third year. I was the face of the company, showing up at every local event possible. All of the biggest residual clients were thanks to my follow-through.

But I was also a fool. Because in the end, there was really only one thing that held me back. A thing that every single one of us lives with. A thing so deep and so dark most of us would rather ignore it than admit it’s there.

In the end, I blame my fear for keeping me by his side. For three years, it blinded me from moving powerfully forward into my own success, even as his personal flaws were amplified by a business spotlight.

But in one sentence, in one swift action, his choice changed it all for me. I was free of him, free of the needy business baby, and free to find what was next for me.

eMarketing Copywriter was born in 2011. I have always been a writer, but, truthfully, I exceled at sales as well. My skill set in small business has allowed me to quadruple my income from year one to year three.

And you know what? I am still humbled every single day to get to do what I love. The message I have for every single woman entrepreneur I meet is a simple one:

Chears to fear

Embrace your fear. Take all of your negative energy, sad days, and bad vibes, and transition them into something positive. If you feel angry at a colleague, turn your anger into a business lesson. When an employee lets you down, switch it over to a reflection on your management style.

Most of all, cry when you need to. Let yourself sob like a child while you acknowledge that it’s only pure, natural fear lurking somewhere deep. After all, the fear might make you pause for a minute, or redden your eyes for the night, but you sure as hell should never, ever let it stop you.

And while it may not be entirely relevant, I’m sure you’ll want a synopsis of how he’s doing since my life moved on. In March of 2011, my COBRA health insurance policy was canceled due to lack of payment on his part.

In 2012, I sued him for back wages … and won. He continued to pay me a decent little court appointed sum every month for over a year. The payments were consistently ‘in the mail’ almost a month late.

When a business colleague called me a few weeks ago, she said she hadn’t seen him in almost three years.  In fact, she didn’t even know what had become of him or his business. Nor, added my powerful, wonderful, amazing executive friend, did she care. I feel exactly the same way.

Too busy to draft your own content? Hire a ghostwriter.

http://www.emarketingcopywriter.comAbout Elspeth Elspeth Misiaszek uses her writing and online marketing skills to help vegan businesses, coaches and entrepreneurs increase sales on their websites and blogs. Email today for a free consultation. Check out Elspeth's website here http://www.emarketingcopywriter.com/

[Day 30] Thank you

Thank you all for being a part of this challenge. As I have said several times I have loved reading your posts, comments, feedback and thoughts. You are a very wonderful group of people. Please read the email I have sent you all.

I will be sending the winner of the 4 session an email shortly.

I would like if you could write 1 word in the comment box below that sums up this challenge for you? 

In true gratitude <3

Carina

[Day 29] Dear me...

So we are at the day before the end, or the beginning. We started with the question what does being mindful mean to you? What qualities does that bring to your life?

Today I would like you to look at what this focus, this commitment has brought to you this past month. What are you taking with you? What is important for you to remember or remind yourself of further down the line? But not blogging about it for me/us to read (of course you can if you want to share that).

I always do this exercise at the end of a course or a longer 1:1 program. I would like to you to write a letter to future you. Reflect on the questions above. Close your eyes and recall what has touched you, what were you reconnected with, what challenged you, what are you afraid you might forget?

Write a letter with everything you want to tell yourself.

This site http://www.futureme.org is awesome. You write yourself a letter, select a date in the future and it will send it to you. I would advise you to select a date a few months away. Maybe even a year from now. If you now a better site please use that.

Looking forward to sharing one last day with you all.

[Day 28] Tying up loose ends

Do you have an endless list of little things that you need to get done? Things that seems less important but still tend to create stress, or maybe comments from your partner (my house :))? Is there a book you want to finish? Is there an email you need to send, but have been putting off doing?

Procrastination sounds a little like an illness - maybe for some it feels like it. Other times the big things get put in line first leaving the little things to pile up and they begin to feel a bigger. Do you know the feeling?

You know that getting them done can leave you feeling so satisfied and peaceful. Not getting it not can foster judgement and a harsh tone towards yourself. This is also a good practice to sort through what you actually can do, and what is out of your limit.

Being mindful can help you out of constant worry and obsession about these kind of things. And today I would like you to look at it two fold.

1. Are there are any little things, that you have been putting off doing, that you can finish today? How does it feel to tie that end?

2. Is there something that feels unfinished but is out of your "power" to finish? How does that feel? How could you bring in your practice and let it be, even it is just for a moment. Can you create space for yourself? How could you tie that end for yourself?

Now write a post or grab your journal and write about your reflections, experience and share your story.

1. Add the URL http://www.mindfulground.com/day-28-tying-loose-ends as a TrackBack link

2. Add a comment below with a few words about your post with a link to the blogpost

[Day 27] Sit... again

Haven't we done that already? Well yes but I would like to bring in some formal meditation again. It is an important part of a mindfulness practice. Is it a time where you have decided and commit to being with yourself and what arises as you sit or lay down. Reflections, time, writing, resistance, confusion, wanting more of the good stuff can bring you to your head a lot.

Today we are bringing awareness back to the present moment, to what is happening right now. I would also like for you to notice if getting yourself to sit has become easier, harder, the same throughout this challenge? Do you feel more motivated?

A long time ago when I did my first training, I felt that the more I meditated, read about meditation, went on retreats, the less I knew. At one point I said to my teacher "I don't think I know what mindfulness is", her reply was "Well, now you are ready to teach". I don't know that I was, but the point is that Mindfulness is a billion different things. Awareness of what is shines a light on whatever experience is there. You can sit 1000 times, and the next time is like none of the other. What is it like for you to sit this time?

You can go back to Day 3 for link, instructions or as I know many of you already have guides etc. that you use.

Sit for 20 minutes. What comes up when you read 20 minutes? Can you take that time for yourself? Are there many reasons why you can't? How about reasons why you CAN?

Now write a post or grab your journal and write about your reflections, experience and share your story.

1. Add the URL http://www.mindfulground.com/day-27-sit-again as a TrackBack link

2. Add a comment below with a few words about your post with a link to the blogpost

A good read