Taking it all in. (Copy)

I am going to continue the theme of mindfulness, parenting and children. I have heard a lot of comments about the 12 exercises for mindful parenting, and it seems to be something a lot of parents would love to work with some more. I know I do. So when the intention to meditate is there, but we lack space, time and motivation what do we do? A women I really enjoy reading is Diana Winston. What an inspiration. She wrote a blog post about meditating with toddlers.

“Well one night while meditating, I had the brainstorm of bringing back formal practice in toddler-friendly style. And thus we instituted “family meditation time.” My daughter is only one so we don’t have too high of a bar. We sit together, the three of us, for five minutes. We have one of those wooden pyramid timers that we set for five minutes; we all listen for the ding (extremely exciting to the one year old in all of us). Then my husband and I close our eyes and try to meditate. (Operative word: “try”). And what does my daughter do? She tries to nurse. She fiddles with the bell. She pokes us and giggles. She wanders about, not too far usually. Sometimes she whines and occasionally cries. Once she seemed like she was meditating along with us—for about two seconds. More often than not she’s jumping on us.”

I smile when I read it, I know it happens around here a lot.

I often hear, in classes that they couldn’t meditate because the kids were screaming, tv was on and there just too much distraction going on. No time, no space, and kids are awake. It is possible to commit to being aware of what is going on in this moment, without it being in silence. I believe that for us parents, that is a big part of the practice - in our everyday lives. Being present with chaos. As Diana goes on; "She bonked me with a book, and I just sat there and took it all in— spacious, open, wild-child mind..."

In my home we have a buddha statue. It is in my meditation corner with my cusion. Well... the cusion gets moved around all the time, when it’s in my daughter's way. I find it sort of symbolic, to remind me to take presence with me troughout my day. I walked into the living room the other day, to find the buddha over in my daughters play-corner with lip balm on, and hair bands around its head. He still had a big smile on its face, so I took that as a thumbs up... And she loved it. She was in peace and having the time of her live. True awareness and meditation. And I just sat there, and watched her observed her playing, with awareness of what was going on inside me, taking it all in. I love my meditation corner, but it goes where she goes and so does my everyday practice.

What do you do? I would love to hear your experiences.

Compassion? No, sorry I’m too busy... (Copy)

I was listening to Daniel Goleman on TED talks (iphone version - it’s great). It was a talk about compassion. He starts off talking about a study that was done, I won’t go into the specifics, but a group of theological students were asked to give a pratice sermon and they were given a topic. Half were if given the parable of a good samaritan. The rest had random bible topics. One by one they were asked to go to another building and give their sermon. On the way, each of them passed a man who was bent over and moaning, and clearly in need. Did it make a difference that they were contemplating the act of the good samaritan and how many stopped. It didn’t! What determined who would stop - was how much of a hurry they thought they were in, they felt that they were running late, or they were caught up in what they were going to say. So even in the proces of talking/thinking/writing about compassion, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we are.

Are we really too busy to be compassionate people? Are we too busy to hold other people’s suffering not to mention our own?

Do we stop to help the elderly even if we are in a hurry, do we hold the door for disabled people, do we donate money to people in need and do we feel true compassion for others? Or do we keep running and say "I'll do it next time around"?

What are we waiting for and running towards? And is this the trend of today? Waiting for and running towards the right moment to be; compassionate, have children, a partner, get married, do something nice for others and yourself, feel happy, lose weight, give a compliment, take action, take NO action, sit down and look at the children we might have found time to have, giving a hug, forgiving, loving, letting go.

We are waiting for a right moment that is constantly passing. We have the opportunity now, and are we present in the now to take it?

We don't have to go anywhere else to find compassion. Not to a Himalayan monastery or even a meditation retreat. We don't have to sit at the foot of a guru or stand on our heads. We won't find compassion in a book or a blog or an inspirational quotation. There is only one place to practice compassion: the one you're in. You can never leave this place, but you can turn it inside out. Do you want to live in friendship or fear? Paradise or paranoia? We are each citizens of the place we make, so make it a better place. Karen Maezen Miller

Thank you Karen you said it for me.