When the stress releaser, becomes the stress increaser

women and stress

I can’t begin to count how many times I have heard “I should meditate at least 20 minutes a day” or “ I have to do yoga in the morning or it won’t work” or “ I just failed at it this week”.

We embark on these journeys with great intentions, we know it feels good when we slow down and tune in, or we hope it will - the article said so.

Then we roll up our sleeves and get to it the practice. The first week was great. You felt the benefits, it was nice to take the time for yourself, your family were good with it (maybe to your surprise). 

Then week two, "shit, the meeting was moved" and you didn’t keep the momentum going that day, your kid got sick and you feel asleep on the only night that you really could have worked some practice in. 

Oh no, now a little stress sets in, now it won’t work, you failed and it was just too hard to fit in. You feel that you should be doing and that the commitment you made just is more stress, then actually benefits of meditating, doing yoga, going for walks in nature etc. This was not the point AT ALL.

Do you recognize the essence of this? 

First thing: you can't be meditate wrong!

Second, there are a few things in play here; life, impatience, maybe the stretch from 0 to 45 minutes of meditation every day was too big. Shoulding which almost never motivated pleasurable and simple action.

I really want to help you create a sustainable practice, to expand presence in your life, without creating more stress in the process.

Join me for this free tele class

Mindful Woman

I will share 3 tips to support you to begin and create a sustainable meditation practice in your life, without increasing stress in your life. If you can't join live, no worries, a recording will be sent within 24 hours, to everyone who signs up.

You can do this. You aren’t doing it wrong. We will look at how to simplify to create a sustainable path for you.

Sign up here

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a tribute to: sleeping children

Thich Nhat Hanh wrote:

"I have arrived, I am home" is the shortest Dharma Talk I have ever given. "I have arrived, I am home" means "I don't want to run anymore." You need that insight in order to be truly established in the here and now, and to embrace life with all its wonders.

mindfulness in eberyday life

What a powerful sentence. For me it has always been a balance. I like running... well I like being driven, I like the passionate and excited side of me. I like the part of me that creates ideas for every step I take. What I have learned through the years of practice and training is to notice when that isn't serving me, when I no longer fills me up, but is draining me instead. And also learned to see that all that running robs me of the things that really creates a deep connection in my life.

It is so valuable to check and see in the moment what life is. In everyday life what gives me joy, happiness, a sense of belonging and depth aren't things like winning the lottery or running fast - it is the simple things.

Like last night, my oldest was asleep and I went in to tuck her in again. I stopped and looked at her, and she looked so big, yet still with her little baby face. She was so peaceful and cute. I was filled with love and gratitude. It brought me home. I didn't need to run to feel love, I didn't need to run to feel purpose, it was right there in that moment.

Moments like those pop up every day. They're not big sensational moments that will be written down in history. But shit they're valuable. It can be a good laugh, a moment when everyone at the table just shuts up and we are there together no strings attached. It can be that brief touch that let's you know you have been seen. The smell of the crisp Fall air. It is random smiles on the street. It's sitting on a chair by your house enjoying the sunset or dinner with close friends.

We don't need to run.

Connect In Thursday: B R E A T H E

Self-compassion breathe

We are moves, doers and driven women. We want to do things right. Often with meditation or yoga that "doing it right" enters how our practice, it could be we feel the longer the better, sitting right, getting the poses 100% like our teacher. The sense of what works for us, can fade a little.

Longer can be good, but it isn’t the only way to be mindful, to connect in. During a busy day, serving others less can still be so much.

[Tweet "During a busy day serving others, connecting inward can do so much. Take 3 deep breaths. #mindful #connectinthursday #breath""]

Take 3 deep breathes. Bring more attention to the out-breath. Letting go of the air. This is an invitation to let be. Allowing for these 3 breaths, the thoughts, sounds, feelings, to dos take care of themselves. Connecting to where you are, the body, to right here rather than there (the future, the other person, the past, the to dos yet to come).

What happens during those 3 breaths?

Connect in Thursday: Look up and around

Look up - the self-compassion

On this fine Thursday I would like you to look up. We can get so focused on where we are going, what we need to get done, that we miss little moments of beauty right in the middle of the familiar and ordinary. Curiosity is such a catalyst for adventure and that muscle may need some exercise, flexing and stretching. A simple practice like this can be a good way to start.

Today's practice: Look up and around you right now. What beauty is there to enjoy, take in, appreciate, where you are?

Beginning to open up with curiosity, with presence where you are, to experience in a more intimate way is more simple than you may think. Even if looking up takes you to the grey ceiling in the office. What you do you notice?

Share it with your friends.

[Tweet "Look up and around you right now. What beauty is there to enjoy, take in, appreciate, where you are? #connectinthursday @carinalyall"]

Thursday is connect in day on the blog. I offer a short, free practice or reflection to support you to connect to yourself and others with more presence, self-compassion and care. This is a little nugget of inspiration for you. Allow it move through you, and be open to what it may bring. Stay tuned here on the blog every Thursday.

xo Carina

[Day 14] What have you learned so far?

Congratulations you have completed 2 weeks of challenges, writing and reflecting - great work. Today is all about going back and looking at what you have learned so far - if anything.

This is also a chance to do some of the challenges you haven't had time to do, or have been putting off for other reasons.

Here's a list of what we have looked at up until now: 

[Day 1] Welcome to the Challenge

[Day 2] B R E A T H E

[Day 3] Sit

[Day 4] How do you treat your body?

[Day 5] with Belinda Pate-Macdonald

[Day 6] What are you grateful for?

[Day 7] Enjoy a cup

[Day 8] Look up!

[Day 9] with Michael Haupt

[Day 10] Unplug

[Day 11] Do you get enough sleep?

[Day 12] Are you impatient?

[Day 13] with Stephanie Lin

What have learned so far? About yourself, being mindful, blogging? 

Now write a post or grab your journal and write about what you have learned up until now.

1. Add the URL  http://www.mindfulground.com/day-14-what-have-you-learned-so-far/ as a TrackBack link

2. Add a comment below with a few words about your post with a link to the blogpost