What the hell is she doing anyway?

I have to face the fact that I am a talker. I have serious issues at times with getting clear. I have a mentor that always "suggests" a less broad language... hmmm well ok, I am working on it. Some might say it's bad for business, or how will people know what to come to you for IF YOUR'RE NOT CLEAR??? And as always with this blog challenge I am doing, I am asked to get crystal clear... The blog challenge Day 10 is:

Which are the key online revenue streams you want to focus on in your existing business?

So basically "What are doing with the your life and business Carina?" Sometimes I find it hard, because in the field I am in, there is no ONE or RIGHT way. I work with life, and that happens is all sorts of ways. I draw on my experience with meditation, mindfulness, yoga specialized in women's body and energy and sometime fall short in how put that into a few bullets...

I know what's important to me though. And that's that people feel connected, worthy, happy, and that they feel that they belong - because everyone deserves that in their life. I want people to own their stories without being caught up in the drama of it, finding peace and ease in everyday life. 

As to how I want to bring this to life in offerings and ways to connect is:

• through one on one programs. These are for the people who are so ready to commit that they feel it in their bones. I love these connections because it is a safe place.
• through the Free Blog Challenge. A way for people not ready to take the big leap, to try out the idea of letting go of a life ruled by stress, auto-pilot, worry and unhappiness.
• through retreats that give people some intense time to look within, relax, meditate and take a break from everyday life, to see it in a clearer light.

And a few other cool things that I am cooking up...

I may not always be clear in my sales pitches and pages, but I am so clear on my vision and WHY I do this work in the first place.

Without any spiritual dogma, and keeping both feet on the ground I want YOU to feel compassion, connection and care for yourself!

Anxiety got me started!

Ahh Day 7 - This blog challenge really doesn't feel like a challenge. Which is awesome - big thanks to Ms. Sisson. Today's question is great - just up my alley.

Which key tools will you turn to regularly to maintain your mindset and how will you use them effectively?

For years I delt with anxiety. Panic attacks, a constant sense of nervousness in my body, scared of being scared ruled my life. I isolated myself more and more, just from feeling so tired and not knowing how to face people anymore.

My way through those years became my meditation practice. I wasn't enlightened or fell in love with a guru. I just sensed tiny shifts for every time a sat and closed my eyes and let go of control. It wasn't always peace and ease - but more about handling what arose.

I became less scared and reactive, but learned to respond with more clarity. I began to see I had a choice. No matter how I felt, I was in control of the next step.

As for my mindset anxiety has become my "warning signal". I haven't had a full blown attack in years, but when a certain feeling creeps up I know it well, I know that this is when to slow down, take better care of my self, and allow myself to be vulnerable.

Easy - no, necessary - Yes.

Meditation and presence isn't only what happens on a cushion somewhere quiet. I bring it with me. It is how I move through life. It is compassion, care, curiosity, it is being connected to how I feel.

I am still me, I still have triggers and less flattering sides at times, but I am so much more aware of how they effect me, and stop a lot sooner then I did before. It is just so much easier to deal with when I am not on never ending auto-pilot.

So what supports me in business and life (and hey isn't it all just life??) is my meditation practice.

Perfection is feeding chickens...

So I thought I would skip Day 5 of the blog challenge, but then something perfect happened, and I had to go back to this challenge.

The question for Day 5 was: What’s does your perfect day look like?

I have written this down for every single business program I have attended. All good fun, but sometimes it just feels so far away. Maybe mostly because I have tended to think it had to be really different from my life as it is. Those perfect days are great, but I want to remember that the process is just so much more important. That's why I do what I do - to live my life as it is happening.

Being self-employed can be challenging, I  often loose sight, get into a panic when we are low on cash, sit up too long at nights and do everything that all the really rich business people tell you not to do.  My website isn't perfect, I don't have really expensive pictures and badges. I procrastinate and drink too much coffee. I mess up and say I'm sorry a lot.

I meditate and look at the guilt I feed myself and compassion is a part of it. So do I strive for perfection or see perfection in what is. The other day it became SO clear.

Last Thursday I decided to keep my oldest daughter home from daycare. My partner had done a night shift and was sleeping. On impulse me and the two girls hopped on the bike and went for a little ride. We ended up in a little haven in the middle of Copenhagen. A little area with farm animals.

We were invited in to feed the chickens and pet the rabbits. We ate apples and had a chat with a 94 year old man. We ended up having the time of our lives.

I was behind on work, reading, napping but in those few hours my day was perfect. Just what I want - freedom, happy children, time to enjoy the little things, and the ability to let go.

In the back of my mind Lou Reed was singing "Just a perfect day"... minus images from the movie Trainspotting...

What is does your perfect day look like? 

Homeless or independent?

Ahhh Day 4 of the Blog challenge. I am warming up, getting into writing again - which is so much fun. The feel of getting clear and focused is great. Little by little the post are making more sense... to me. :) So today's question from Ms. Natalie S. is: What is your definition of location independence?

When I first started out, I felt more homeless than independent. I worked/work at home for the most part, besides when I teach meditation classes. Which is great, but can create a little trouble in really getting clear on the difference between WORK HOURS and FAMILY/RELAXATION TIME. Do you know the feeling?

(I work at home with a little more advanced hardware...)

Instead of me going to work and coming home, my family sort of comes home and invades my work space. And that just isn't fair to them or me. So not having an office created a little stress for everyone in the house. I have gone to cafés etc. but couldn't get into a real flow there. So I have roamed the streets with my laptop seeking, and not working...

It has been my excuse for why I haven't been totally focused and why my business has taken a while to really get moving. UNTIL I met Natalie, and not having a base to work from really couldn't be the excuse anymore.

It draws back to the last few posts about freedom. I have clients where I go to their house, I teach group classes at a beautiful venue, I do 1:1s a third place, and do admin work at home or where ever I can find a quiet spot.

Now, instead of feeling homeless, I like to think of it as having many "homes". Being connected and spreading my wings all over town. Using the various spots for the different purposes that are called for there. It all gives me room to change, evolve, create without having to deal with the admin of having my own office. Which I know, for me, would take even more focus from what I am really passionate about.

It's a balance and takes some ability to adapt and work with what you've got, but isn't life that way anyway?

When I used to be a puppy dog...

Blog challenge DAY 3 - What’s your definition of freedom in business and adventure in life?  My lovely brother used to tell amazing stories of when he was a puppy dog. We all listened and laughed, but he was always caught up in the stories like he really had been a cute little dog and oh  my the adventures!

In a lot of ways I look back at the time before a became a mommy dog, hmm grown up, hmm gave birth to two beautiful girls, with smiles and nostalgia. Missing life as it was. I remember feeling and speaking of myself as adventurous and interesting. Life just flowed in whatever way we, and it, wanted to.

Awakening to the fact that I am now human, with bags under my eyes and subtle smell of spit up, makes me divide adventure and now even more...

I really love my life, but I don't feel so adventurous anymore. Or I guess contemplating the question it all comes back to MY definition of what that is. Where I see lack, and where I see life and joy unfolding before me. Adventure has turned into some huge and un-reachable thing. Nothing to with responsibility, worries or domestic life.

Freedom in business is what I am doing (close to anyway - still working on the how). But freedom is in the fact that I am in charge. I can have a full day mid-week with the girls if that's what we want to do. I can sit in my PJs all day and write emails, I can work with the most inspiring clients because I chose to (and they chose me).

Within our family, work doesn't define how we live, 9-5 etc. We define the life we want and how business can be a part of that - amazing eh!?

Next year we are leaving our apartment and crossing the US and Canada. It might take 8 months, maybe 9 and we are just going to go with it. Going back to my roots and visiting my family in the reserve, feeling the wind in our hair, showing the girls that part of the world, and living our adventure as a family, with responsibility, and I guess you always worry a little as a parent.

Adventure in life is living it fully, with the circumstances you face. Going after what you dream of without being attached to the outcome. And I think I will remind myself of that from now on...