What do you love... (Copy)

 about you...?

So how did it go with checking in last week? If you didn't read last week's post you can find it here..

Rick Hanson wrote the book “Hard Wiring Happiness” . In it he talks about letting short glimpses of happiness expand. Allowing yourself to begin to see happiness instead of all that is going wrong in you life. He also describes how this change in focus and wayof living, changes the circuit in your brain - very interesting!

I believe that this can be linked to self-compassion. You can feel love and compassion, maybe briefly, and then find a million reasons why that isn’t true or why you don’t deserve it, or how you aren't the person you want to be. This is simplified of course, but today I want to shine a light on focus, and a little shift on how you focus on you.

As moms we want to do our best. We feel and have great responsibility and love for our children. This can also bring on the judgment and guilt and sense of 'when will I ever be good enough'? To be in that place is very stressful.

A lot of wise people have said where your focus goes, your energy flows. As I feel Rick is pointing to.

This week I would like you to focus on the thing you are grateful for and/or like about yourself.

Monday practice

I want you to get our your journal and write 3 things down that you like/love/appreciate about yourself. No one has to read it or agree with it- this is for you.

For some it might take time and feel a little uncomfortable, give yourself the space to reflect and sense into the question and start out where you feel true to yourself. For others maybe all the things you dislike come up first. Allow that to come up and pass. Continue to sit with the question. And eyebrows and fingers count as answers just fine (they were the 2 first on my list when I did this a few years ago…).

Do this every night this week and also reflect on how it feels to write it down?

If you feel called to, please share any thoughts in the comments below.

IMPORTANTO: Before I go I would like to remind you to take these exercises as they feel right. You alone know when it is too much, too little or when you need extra support. Be sensitive towards yourself.

What is Self-compassion? (Copy)

Great question!

Some days I feels very unclear and I am judging myself a lot. Other days it feels very clear, and I do not beat myself up.

I believe in exploring, rather than giving answers (to some questions anyway) and I want you to feel into what self-compassion means and feels to you.

When you read the word self-compassion what comes up for you?

But, because it can be helpful to have an wise woman's word I would like to offer Kristin Neff’s thoughts on Self-Compassion. I am truly inspired by her and her work and can highly recommend her book. 

She writes that self-compassion consists of 3 elements: Self-Kindness, Common Humanity and Mindfulness. I feel they interweave, but that the first step is awareness. This brings us to know, and to the only moment we can move forward from.

Practice for this coming week

First step is really to become aware. Checking in and getting intimate with what is. An inner weather report if you will. So I'd like to introduce the short check-in.

Whenever you sit in the car, leave the house, go to the restroom or remember, do the following:

• Close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths
• Connect to whatever is going on right now, thoughts, kids screaming, lists and to do’s etc. As best you can without judging or hurrying to change it, just noticing.
• Sense the body, feet, buttocks, back, hands, head
• Not changing anything just noticing.
• When you feel ready open your eyes and continue your day

Do this as many times a day as you feel called to. What do you notice when you check in? Write a few words down in your journal or share in the comments below.

With love

Carina

What my Mama taught me! (Copy)

So I got an email with the "challenge" to write a post for Mother's Day, about what I have learnt from my mom. I have and why wait till mother's day, all of the following is how I feel most of the year. Ok so this could be the longest list in the world, most of what I know came from her, spiced with the adventures of adult life, but the foundation was created in childhood, from her.

I don't want to go all Forest Gump here, mostly because when eating a box of chocolates I usually don't taste med, I stuff them... anyway...

We are 5 siblings and as I sit with my 2 girls inhaling coffee, my respect for her grows - how the hell did she do it!?!

But we all turned out great, doing awesome things in life, traveling, studying, creating and she taught us that well. I can barely keep up with 2 girls and some days I fear that I am mostly teaching them how to cover insomnia with concealer.

So how do you learn? I remember what she did and being so proud of her. She aimed for things, she seldom sat back feeling sorry for herself. She took chances and got things done (with at least 1 kid on her hip), she did her best, and laughed a lot. She wore the biggest glasses man ever made and her hair matched.

She told us to do what we dreamed of, to travel the world and experience as much as we could. She taught us to do the dishes and cook and to always wear clean underwear when going somewhere.

She taught us love and never ever sent us out the door without knowing how much she loved us. She taught us what is possible if you want it, even on your own with a sh** load of kids.

She taught us that not knowing is ok and that vulnerability is a part of it all. She taught us that there is always two sides to a story. She taught us that Henna dyes your hair orange no matter what color you think you bought.

She taught us to be grateful for what we had and I am so grateful I had her.

I bow in respect for the woman and what I have learnt continues to unfold as I go about in life. I am happy to have the skills and the ability to ask (mostly her) if I don't.

I love you dearly mom and thank you for being my role model.

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My dear Gram... (Copy)

I want to tribute day 7 to her, to our ancestors, to the people who paved the way. Those who lived and passed and forever imprinted their being in our hearts.

Somedays I still want to call her or think that a card from her will be in the mail. Death is such a strange thing. She doesn't feel gone. the memory so present. I miss her dearly. 

My Gram passed this weekend... I miss her so much. Losing someone you love is strange. I feel sad and tired. Guilty and a bit of panic. I know she isn't suffering anymore and that this was her time.

But what I'm left behind with are memories and a fear of those fading. And I guess some of them will. I wish I had gotten her laugh and voice bottled. I wish I had listened to more stories about her life. I wish I had called more. I wish I hadn't been so far away for the past 20 years. I wish she knew how much she meant to me...

An article is going around on Facebook with what the dying wish they would've done more of in their life. I am writing this as a "living" going back and celebrating what I did have with my Grandma Carrie.

I know that as I write this, those close to me and us might say "that's not how it was". But that's what's so great about memories, they are mine. This is how I remember her.

 I remember...

- how they toasted bread on an old coat hanger on the stove and how the bread drawer smelled. I loved her bread.

- how I would get my gram's curlers out and I would do her hair till she fell asleep.

- how after we moved away, and we called home my gram would answer the phone in the living room and my grandpa in the bedroom. Him crying and my gram saying "geez Bud".

- how we would come over for Sunday dinners and everyone (it seemed) was there and how good her salt-beef was.

- how she would always say "I love you right to the bones".

- how she could never pronounce Guelph and hated that we lived there.

- how the last few years when I phoned we would talk for 13 minutes and then she would say "Oh someone's coming to the door, I gotta go" we would talk for another 5 minutes and noone ever knocked. Good way to get rid of me though. :)

- how her vegetable garden looked and how much I loved their yellow house.

- how she taught me how to knit, but didn't really have the patience for me fumbling around with it.

- how when I stayed the night as a kid, I'd stay in her bed and my Gramp would get kicked into the single bed.

- how she would watch wrestling and loved Ricky the Steamboat and how cool I thought she was for liking it.

- how she would save little packs of Fruitloops in their food stash and let me eat Tumbs because I thought they tasted real good.

- how when I think of her my Gramp is along her side. And how much she missed him after he died. She said she would tell him off for dying from her.

- how I know that more memories will come up over the next weeks and I will be sending her my love with each one...

- how she would end a conversation about something hard with a "God eh C'rin".

And so will I. I miss you dearly and know you are in peace.

God eh Gram. <3

I'm out... (Copy)

  So it's my 4 year birthday around this time,  I have been "in business" for 4 years. A lot of soul searching, mistake making and even more confusion has gone through the system.

When  I started out I liked creating, loved it actually. Writing, messing around with pictures and colors and getting it right... for me, reading comments and interacting with those who dropped by.

However, ever since I started out as a self-employed woman I have resisted it on some level. I love being my own boss. I love that I can go to work only wearing socks if I wanted to. But as with any uncommon ground (motherhood, new relationship etc) a little uncertainty sets in, and I at least have felt the need to follow the leaders.

I have joined close to every bizz style course you can - that's what you do eh?  It made me feel like I was doing it right, it would be horrible if I was viewed as unprofessional. So I nudged off track a wee bit. I have failed at pretty much every step I have been told to do. All the systems, because it WOULD make me grow - huh. Well it didn't.

Next thing I know I am tweaking my USP (Unique Selling Position) thinking this is pretty boring and not at all getting my heart in it. Then changing all my profile pictures so they were the same - no one likes a slob. Then creating profiles left right and center on social media sites. Next I am choosing a niche. Then I am driving myself to write "awesome" how to blog posts that always sort came out with the same vibe - the "I don't know, what do you feel?" vibe.

Then a business adviser who's last name was Focking (I kid you not) told me stop writing articles and posts in English and focus on the Danish crowd because that's where I live. And I can (and I think I will in posts to come) go on ...

I am fed up, I needed to go back and start again, with a little more knowledge and a lot more money down the drain.

So here's my new site, that has NONE of the above. And I am totally fine with it. I am back to creating, writing, going with the flow of what sits right with me and you reading. With a big happy birthday to the business

I hope you will join me here, the journey and the small acts of creativity, storytelling and honesty.

<3 Carina

Cheers to Fear: A Powerful Life Lesson Happy Women Can’t Live Without (Copy)

Guest Post by Elspeth Misiaszek

On January 6, 2011 my business partner called me into his office. He looked me right in the eye and said, “I need to go at this solo.”

Right there on the spot, like I was garbage being thrown to the street, he fired me.

My entire body went completely still. A wave of angst and … absolute calm? … washed over me.

Like a flash, all the years of late nights, hundreds of handshakes, thousands of phone calls, and blisters from long days door-knocking zipped right through me. I felt something I’d never, ever imagined I could feel.

I felt grateful. When I joined the company, it was a start-up corporation. I left my job, started dating this man whom I truly believed in, and gave myself, heart and soul, to his lifelong dream of business ownership.

But there was a problem. He simply wasn’t as smart as my naïve rosy glasses made him out to be. He’d miscalculated how much money he’d need for overhead; there wasn’t a dime left over for my salary.

What should have been my leap of faith into a life of entrepreneurial independence quickly turned into a test of loyalty. I’d resigned from my job and moved in with him, leaving behind my old life. There was nothing to go back to.

After a few years, when we ended our relationship, we agreed that I had accrued sweat-equity in the business equivalent to my unpaid wages. He was able to fire me (he was the majority partner regardless) thanks to my own absolute stupidity; I hadn’t gotten our agreement in writing.

It was his loss, as well, to feel he could go at it solo. I earned the business from 50% to 60% of its gross sales, over $120,000 my third year. I was the face of the company, showing up at every local event possible. All of the biggest residual clients were thanks to my follow-through.

But I was also a fool. Because in the end, there was really only one thing that held me back. A thing that every single one of us lives with. A thing so deep and so dark most of us would rather ignore it than admit it’s there.

In the end, I blame my fear for keeping me by his side. For three years, it blinded me from moving powerfully forward into my own success, even as his personal flaws were amplified by a business spotlight.

But in one sentence, in one swift action, his choice changed it all for me. I was free of him, free of the needy business baby, and free to find what was next for me.

eMarketing Copywriter was born in 2011. I have always been a writer, but, truthfully, I exceled at sales as well. My skill set in small business has allowed me to quadruple my income from year one to year three.

And you know what? I am still humbled every single day to get to do what I love. The message I have for every single woman entrepreneur I meet is a simple one:

Embrace your fear. Take all of your negative energy, sad days, and bad vibes, and transition them into something positive. If you feel angry at a colleague, turn your anger into a business lesson. When an employee lets you down, switch it over to a reflection on your management style.

Most of all, cry when you need to. Let yourself sob like a child while you acknowledge that it’s only pure, natural fear lurking somewhere deep. After all, the fear might make you pause for a minute, or redden your eyes for the night, but you sure as hell should never, ever let it stop you.

And while it may not be entirely relevant, I’m sure you’ll want a synopsis of how he’s doing since my life moved on. In March of 2011, my COBRA health insurance policy was canceled due to lack of payment on his part.

In 2012, I sued him for back wages … and won. He continued to pay me a decent little court appointed sum every month for over a year. The payments were consistently ‘in the mail’ almost a month late.

When a business colleague called me a few weeks ago, she said she hadn’t seen him in almost three years.  In fact, she didn’t even know what had become of him or his business. Nor, added my powerful, wonderful, amazing executive friend, did she care. I feel exactly the same way.

Too busy to draft your own content? Hire a ghostwriter.

About Elspeth Elspeth Misiaszek uses her writing and online marketing skills to help vegan businesses, coaches and entrepreneurs increase sales on their websites and blogs. Email today for a free consultation. Check out Elspeth's website here http://www.emarketingcopywriter.com/

[Day 17] with Sheila Sornsin (Copy)

  My mission is to raise the consciousness of joyful living and I coach people on living their very best life, so I speak on all aspects of creating more joy in life whether it is through optimal health, financial prosperity, mindfulness, discovering your life purpose and the sense of belonging we feel when we have found our social circle that provides community and whole-heart connection. Knowing what contributes to our joy is one thing, yet what if we turn that around and ask ourselves what rob us of our joy? I know the things that steal my joy and having coached many others, I can tell you some of the top thieves are our relationship, thoughts and feelings about 1) the present moment, 2) expectations and 3) time. This is by no means an exhaustive list, yet if you will give me a moment to explain, you will see it covers many.

The Present Moment - think of a time when you were really present to another person and/or situation and how delicious it felt to soak in the moment with all your senses, it is absolutely magical, isn't it? So why do we so often waste our precious moments rehashing our past mistakes and regrets or sometimes even worse, what we consider to be other people's mistakes and error of their ways? And if we are not looking backwards, we often look to the future with great worry or fear of what may or may not happen. How silly is that? It takes us away from enjoying what is for the anxiety of something that may never come to pass.

This is what makes meditation such a powerful tool. I am not saying it is easy, we all have the 'monkey mind' that jumps from one branch of thought to another thinking it is being helpful in reminding you of all the things you need to do or concern yourself with, yet with consistent practice, meditation can and will quiet the mind and provide you the ability to live in the now.

Expectations - when we have expectations that people should be or act differently than they are or that "things" should be different than they appear. What would happen if we whole-heartedly accepted things exactly as they are? I encourage you to see everything as divinely orchestrated to show, teach and accept life as it is with great gratitude and appreciation. When we trust that the Universe is always conspiring in our favor, it is much easier to accept that everything, even seemingly disappointing things, are really blessings in disguise.

This is where a consistent gratitude practice really makes an impact. The more you can put yourself in the state of acceptance and curiosity, the more open we are to seeing the beauty in it all. Being able to reframe your past situations as perfectly designed because it brought you some other gift you were not expecting in life is the true blessing. And when times seem challenging, you can always look back in these journals and see for a fact, that all eventually turns out beautifully. If it is not beautiful yet, it means there is more to come.

Time - having a scarcity mentality of time and believing you should be somewhere else other than exactly where you are. This one is closely related to the previous two, yet still bears mention because it is so pervasive. I, along with many others, fall trap to thought of how I 'should' be further along than I currently am on a project, a relationship or financial goal. First off, where do these "shoulds" come from? We 'should' according to who or what standard? Evidently, we shouldn't or we would, right? After years of not having enough time in my day to accomplish all I expected of myself, I finally decided to beat a different drum and instead of lamenting over the lack of time I had, I began telling myself a new story and my mantra became: I have all the time in the world and everything happens in divine order.

Now doesn't that feel better? And by the simple act of feeling better throughout my day about what was getting done, I am able to accomplish that much more. If you find yourself with consistent thoughts to the opposite of what you truly desire to create in your life, I highly recommend re-writing your story with affirmations or mantras that create that which you do desire.

So those are some of the top thieves that rob me of my joy in life, now it is your turn.

Namaste.

Now write a post or grab your journal and write about your reflections, experience and share your story.

1. Add the URL  http://www.mindfulground.com/day-17-sheila/ as a TrackBack link

2. Add a comment below with a few words about your post with a link to the blogpost

About Sheila Sornsin

Sheila is a speaker, writer, coach and owner of The Grateful Goddess. Having manifested the life of her dreams, today she guides others in creating health, wealth, happiness and their true hearts’ desire. Sheila is a contributing author to the bestselling Adventures in Manifesting series and a workshop facilitator at Canyon Ranch Resort and Spa in Tucson, AZ. The mission of The Grateful Goddess is to coach women in realizing their full potential illuminating their inner goddess, so they can live their most joyful, authentic, fulfilling and rewarding life. For more information, go to www.thegratefulgoddess.com.

You can also connect with Sheila at https://www.facebook.com/TheGratefulGoddess

[Day 16] with Caroline Cain (Copy)

As a mom, dad, well human being guilt can often be the predominant emotion pervading your days. Whereas before (before kids, before having your own business etc.) you might have felt more fear, more hesitation, more of a lack of confidence, this generally seems to turn to guilt.

Guilty of not spending enough time with your children, for not being fully present when you are with them. Guilty of not putting more time and effort into your business or job. Guilty of not having the time or space to give your partner a hug, let alone speak about anything other than your business or the kids.

Saying ‘sorry’ seems to be your default throughout the day in this modern way of living where you expect to be all and do all for everyone. It can be so easy to focus on lack, on what we aren’t doing rather than what we ARE doing.

‘What are three things that you ARE doing ‘right’’?

Now write a post or grab your journal and write about your reflections, experience and share your story.

1. Add the URL  http://www.mindfulground.com/day-16-with-caroline-cain/ as a TrackBack link

2. Add a comment below with a few words about your post with a link to the blogpost

About Caroline Cain  Caroline Cain is a Success Coach for Mum Entrepreneurs looking to create a meaningful career and a fabulous home life. Trained as a Nutritionist, she is also a Lifestyle Mentor, Mother, Girlfriend, Buddhist, Modern day nomad who works internationally with women entrepreneurs. She helps them to create exceptional business success and home life balance, health and a lifestyle that supports them to fulfill their purpose. Caroline lives by the motto that ‘life happens’; flexibility and a fierce commitment to imperfection are vital ingredients for happiness and success.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/CaroCain FB: facebook.com/carolinecainofficialpage

[Day 8] Look up! (Copy)

  Meditation and mindfulness training are often linked to the image of a person sitting with her eyes closed, focused and alert (and most of the time amazingly gorgeous).

But what if it also included looking up and really noticing what’s right there in front of us. How often do we investigate and take that in? It can be a good practice to see what is going outside of ourselves and how we relate to it. Do we see with an open mind, or seewhat we think we see.

There are clearly many reasons why we as adults don’t always look up with curiosity. We are in a hurry, stressed, tired, worried or we've been in the same spot so many times we rely on KNOWING instead of seeing.

One thing a teacher of mine brought up that hit home for me was - remember to be curious. When I look at my children and people that are playful in life they are curious about themselves, life, objects and whatever they stumble upon on their way. I have always admired that ability, since it seemed to fade in my life.

Looking up can be taken very literal - what is in front of you. wall, trees, cue, window etc. You can also take it one step deeper with your partner, children, colleagues. Who is this in front of me? What do they look like today? What are they saying? How does it feel to be here with them? Taking in what we see with curiosity and open eyes.

Make it a habit several times today to look up . Up at the sky, rooftops, birds or tree tops. What do you see? Do you see something new? If you are somewhere that feels sort routineish how does it feel to look around and observe. Let your eyes wander around - curious and open.

You can remind yourself by writing a post it or note that says " look up". Or set your a reminder on your phone.

What do you notice?

Now write a post or grab your journal and write about your reflections, experience and share your story.

1. Add the URL  http://www.mindfulground.com/day-8-look-up/ as a TrackBack link

2. Add a comment below with a few words about your post with a link to the blogpost

Share the love

Click to tweet: Look up what do you see? via @mindfulground 's Mindful Living blog challenge #awareness #life #openess http://tinyurl.com/oc5mzns

[Day 6] - What are you grateful for? (Copy)

We often look at what we aren't good at, what needs to change and how we can improve. Seldom do we shout from the roof tops what we are good at and what we are grateful for in our lives. Somethings might be a given. Other things we may forget to truly enjoy.

Being Mindful is showing up for life as it is, and this includes joy, happiness, celebration and gratitude. Do you remember to enjoy life? Do you allow yourself to celebrate your qualities and successes?

Even in the darkest times of our lives, there is still "good" to be discovered and be grateful for. Acknowledging those times and things in our lives can support of us to remember to enjoy.

When stressed or in a hurry we may not be as sensible to the signals to slow down, but are we in such a hurry we also forget to breathe in the wonderful things in life?

I AM GRATEFUL for all of your posts, sharing, insights and openness.

Now write a post or grab your journal and write about your reflections, experience and share your story.

1. Add the URL  http://www.mindfulground.com/day-6-i-am-grateful/ as a TrackBack link

2. Add a comment below with a few words about your post with a link to the blogpost

Share the love

Click here to tweet: Noting what I am grateful for via @mindfulground what are you grateful for in your life? #gratitude #mindful http://tinyurl.com/o3fgtlo

Recommended reading

Gratitude: A Way Of Life

By Louise Hay

What the hell is she doing anyway? (Copy)

I have to face the fact that I am a talker. I have serious issues at times with getting clear. I have a mentor that always "suggests" a less broad language... hmmm well ok, I am working on it. Some might say it's bad for business, or how will people know what to come to you for IF YOUR'RE NOT CLEAR??? And as always with this blog challenge I am doing, I am asked to get crystal clear... The blog challenge Day 10 is:

Which are the key online revenue streams you want to focus on in your existing business?

So basically "What are doing with the your life and business Carina?" Sometimes I find it hard, because in the field I am in, there is no ONE or RIGHT way. I work with life, and that happens is all sorts of ways. I draw on my experience with meditation, mindfulness, yoga specialized in women's body and energy and sometime fall short in how put that into a few bullets...

I know what's important to me though. And that's that people feel connected, worthy, happy, and that they feel that they belong - because everyone deserves that in their life. I want people to own their stories without being caught up in the drama of it, finding peace and ease in everyday life. 

As to how I want to bring this to life in offerings and ways to connect is:

• through one on one programs. These are for the people who are so ready to commit that they feel it in their bones. I love these connections because it is a safe place.
• through the Free Blog Challenge. A way for people not ready to take the big leap, to try out the idea of letting go of a life ruled by stress, auto-pilot, worry and unhappiness.
• through retreats that give people some intense time to look within, relax, meditate and take a break from everyday life, to see it in a clearer light.

And a few other cool things that I am cooking up...

I may not always be clear in my sales pitches and pages, but I am so clear on my vision and WHY I do this work in the first place.

Without any spiritual dogma, and keeping both feet on the ground I want YOU to feel compassion, connection and care for yourself!

Sending these some love (Copy)

Sometimes you just stumble across people that inspire you. And sometimes you just forget to tell them that that's what they do - inspire. So this is the month of challenges (in many ways) and we have come to day 9 i Natalie's blog challenge. They question today is:

Whose online business do you admire most and why?

I have to go 3-fold today. There are too many people I admire to cook it down to 1. I have never been good at "would you rather die by shark attack or fall off a cliff" and the "You HAAAAAVE to chose" kind of games... So not going to limit myself this time either.

1. Is Joanna Lindenbaum from Soulfulcoach.com

She is such a talented woman and always spot on. Her way of getting so close and personal even though she works 98% online amazes me. She brings her heart to what she does and it oooozes through the internet. When I grow up I want to be like her.

2. Is Caroline Cain from carolinecain.com

She is just so down to earth and really REALLY knows how to speak so you understand on a mental and visceral level. I could listen to her forever, and makes living healthy and happy sound like something that is possible, without changing everything about yourself... bonus.

3. Is Sarah Avant Stover from saraavantstover.com

I have never met her, but I adore how she brings women together via her online community. Important work and really something that more women need to engage in. When we go on our around the world trip next year, I might just have to ask her to drink coffee with me. :)

Besides those 3, I also have to send some online love to Natalie - she just helps so many people do what they love smarter.

<3

Perfection is feeding chickens... (Copy)

So I thought I would skip Day 5 of the blog challenge, but then something perfect happened, and I had to go back to this challenge.

The question for Day 5 was: What’s does your perfect day look like?

I have written this down for every single business program I have attended. All good fun, but sometimes it just feels so far away. Maybe mostly because I have tended to think it had to be really different from my life as it is. Those perfect days are great, but I want to remember that the process is just so much more important. That's why I do what I do - to live my life as it is happening.

Being self-employed can be challenging, I  often loose sight, get into a panic when we are low on cash, sit up too long at nights and do everything that all the really rich business people tell you not to do.  My website isn't perfect, I don't have really expensive pictures and badges. I procrastinate and drink too much coffee. I mess up and say I'm sorry a lot.

I meditate and look at the guilt I feed myself and compassion is a part of it. So do I strive for perfection or see perfection in what is. The other day it became SO clear.

Last Thursday I decided to keep my oldest daughter home from daycare. My partner had done a night shift and was sleeping. On impulse me and the two girls hopped on the bike and went for a little ride. We ended up in a little haven in the middle of Copenhagen. A little area with farm animals.

We were invited in to feed the chickens and pet the rabbits. We ate apples and had a chat with a 94 year old man. We ended up having the time of our lives.

I was behind on work, reading, napping but in those few hours my day was perfect. Just what I want - freedom, happy children, time to enjoy the little things, and the ability to let go.

In the back of my mind Lou Reed was singing "Just a perfect day"... minus images from the movie Trainspotting...

What is does your perfect day look like? 

Why do it at all? (Copy)

I AM BACK - in english. :) So I joined the blog challenge over at the suitcase entrepreneur. And this is day 1... Today is all about why? Something that in business has been a great adventure the past 3 years. Why do I do what I do - and at other times "what the hell am I doing...?"

I started this blog back in 2011, because I wanted to share my story. I wanted to let people know how I use and practice meditation in everyday life. I have 2 daughters, a business, loads of friends I have neglected and a big family that I love. It is important to me that practice, integrating meditation and becoming more present in life, is down to earth. It is doable for everyone.

I feel very passionate about inspiring others to own their story, and break free from the drama of it, and use it to connect to their sense of worth and belonging. Because of that I want to share mine - honest, connected, and out loud.

That being said, I fell off the wagon. I had a good start, then business panic, then work freeze, then another baby, and bam 2 years later there hasn't been a lot of activity.

So the amazing Natalie Sisson sent me an email, gave me a push and I am back to share, listen and connect to my creativity again.

I am back on Twitter as well... Oh my. Maybe you would like to connect? I'm at @mindfulground

See you tomorrow. :)

Krig, fødsel og død... (Copy)

I disse dage går vi og venter på, at vores andet barn melder sin ankomst. Det er en underlig følelse at vide, at lige om lidt så ændrer verden sig fuldstædig, vi ved ikke hvordan, men ved at det bliver stort. Det er både spændende og også lidt vemodigt. Som med efteråret der i dag viser sig fra sin bedste side, symboliserer at noget dør og noget nyt begynder. I dag er det præcis 11 år siden at jeg stod overfor en anden kæmpe omvæltning i mit liv. (Jeg er begyndt at skrive minderne ned, så småt og så dukker der en masse op til overfladen.)

Jeg stod i Københavnslufthavn, med en enkeltbillet til Sarajevo, Bosnien. Jeg havde en 6 måneders kontrakt med et Hollandsk firma "Echos" og skulle arbejde som civil på den Amerikanske hærs hovedkvarter, Butmir blandt ca. 3200 soldater fra hele verden.

Mit job var at arbejde sammen med lokale kvinder og mænd og skabe rekreationsområder for soldaterne på basen. Et eventyr jeg havde valgt, fordi jeg synes det var “once in a lifetime” chance for at prøve noget helt anderledes, inden jeg på et tidspunkt skulle blive rigtig voksen...

Der stod jeg og skulle lade mit liv som jeg kendte det dø, og et helt nyt kapitel skulle begynde.

Jeg skriver om det her, fordi at de 1 1/2 år i Balkan, hvor jeg langsomt lod mit sind, min krop, mig selv falde ud i ingenting, også blev min introduktion til mediation. Der er mange gode minder. Men jeg endte alligevel et sted, hvor det eneste jeg havde kontakt til var tømmermænd, adrenalin rushes, andres psykiske forfald, ekstrem had, fortvivelse og en dyb undren over menneskers evne til at tilgive.

Detaljerne er der ikke plads til her, men slutning kom i 2003 da jeg tog hjem for at holde jul. Chokket for min familie var stort. Jeg var mør, faldet fra hinanden, og en rastløshed styrede hver en handling. Jeg fungerede ikke længere i en normal verden. Jeg kendte den ikke længere. Jeg var mistroisk, min evne til at være del i relationer med tillid og ro eksisterede ikke længere. Langsomt tog stress, dødsangst og angstanfaldene over. Jeg havde lukket mig inde i mig selv.

Når jeg mindes de sidste 11 år, så er jeg dybt berørt over, hvor meget det er muligt at hele, tage ansvar, tilgive og hvad et menneske kan gennemgå af skift. I de tider hvor alt virkede håbløst og mit spejlbillede ikke var genkendelig, var der stadig muligheder. Jeg søgte i sin tid meditation, som en måde at komme af med angsten NUUUU. At det blev døren til så meget mere, kan jeg kun være taknemmelig for. Det har været hårdt arbejde, men at lade mig selv blive blød i stedet for hård, at være åben frem for lukket, har vækket mig i live igen.

Nu sidder jeg her 11 år senere, hormonel, sårbar, tyk, med halvveer, og er så klar til at åbne mit hjerte for et lille nyt menneske.

See you on the other side...

Letting go... (Copy)

So, this summer has been a time of great change. Not so much around me, but in me. What do I wish for me and my family, what do I want for my business, and what do I want to spend my time working on. I love writing in english, and I truely feel that I have something to say. However, I have had to make a decision. What is this blog and why do I spend time writting. And for the moment I have made the choice to change this blog from an english version to a danish.

It has been a hard choice, as it means letting go of a dream I have had with this blog and what I wanted it to do. But as a lot of you know, once you do let go of something that is "weighing you down" it can feel so liberating. I have always been the kind of person who wants to change the world. I am sure I will... :) But I have to start closer to home - with me... he he. We will see how it goes.

So from now on you can read this blog in Danish. Thank you all for leaving your comments, and sharing your thoughts, it has meant the world to me.

Here's to new dreams and moments unfolding.

xox Carina

Compassion? No, sorry I’m too busy... (Copy)

I was listening to Daniel Goleman on TED talks (iphone version - it’s great). It was a talk about compassion. He starts off talking about a study that was done, I won’t go into the specifics, but a group of theological students were asked to give a pratice sermon and they were given a topic. Half were if given the parable of a good samaritan. The rest had random bible topics. One by one they were asked to go to another building and give their sermon. On the way, each of them passed a man who was bent over and moaning, and clearly in need. Did it make a difference that they were contemplating the act of the good samaritan and how many stopped. It didn’t! What determined who would stop - was how much of a hurry they thought they were in, they felt that they were running late, or they were caught up in what they were going to say. So even in the proces of talking/thinking/writing about compassion, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we are.

Are we really too busy to be compassionate people? Are we too busy to hold other people’s suffering not to mention our own?

Do we stop to help the elderly even if we are in a hurry, do we hold the door for disabled people, do we donate money to people in need and do we feel true compassion for others? Or do we keep running and say "I'll do it next time around"?

What are we waiting for and running towards? And is this the trend of today? Waiting for and running towards the right moment to be; compassionate, have children, a partner, get married, do something nice for others and yourself, feel happy, lose weight, give a compliment, take action, take NO action, sit down and look at the children we might have found time to have, giving a hug, forgiving, loving, letting go.

We are waiting for a right moment that is constantly passing. We have the opportunity now, and are we present in the now to take it?

We don't have to go anywhere else to find compassion. Not to a Himalayan monastery or even a meditation retreat. We don't have to sit at the foot of a guru or stand on our heads. We won't find compassion in a book or a blog or an inspirational quotation. There is only one place to practice compassion: the one you're in. You can never leave this place, but you can turn it inside out. Do you want to live in friendship or fear? Paradise or paranoia? We are each citizens of the place we make, so make it a better place. Karen Maezen Miller

Thank you Karen you said it for me.

Hoarding the invisible... (Copy)

The AIM2011 task this week is to declutter.

It’s funny because there is a series on TV at the moment about extreme hoarders. I am trying to cut back on TV but somethings just fascinate me too much. It is very easy for me to shake my head, and ask how can anyone live like that. I’d go crazy in that mess.

Last night an elder women was close to being evicted if she did not clean her house. Her children were helping her and she was getting very angry. She could not allow her family to throw away her things. As she said “they are never here with me, but my stuff is with me all the time”. The autopilot started to judge her. "Why doesn’t she just call them, be more pleasent so they would want to come over, get her act together" etc. As they started to clear her house, and she was panicking and trying to hang on to every little piece of paper, I felt it sting a bit.

I might not have piles of “junk” everywhere, but I for sure have things that I cling on to. Things I feel represent me, things that give me a sense of self. I can relate to the feeling of that self leaving me if I ever threw those things in the garbage. I have books that are there because I feel that I stay bright in their presence, birthday cards so I still feel loved, clumps of clay I don’t know what is anymore - to remind me that I was a child once, t-shirts I would never wear, from festivals I danced around at when I was a fun person, clothes I can’t fit anymore, from a time when I was a better looking version of me... and I can go on.

It is in boxes, stuffed away in the attic, and maybe they will only come out again the day I am no longer here, and someone has to clear it out. So is my sense of self stuck in a box in the attic?

I have no intention of getting rid of everything I own, but I will definitely have a look at the reasons for why I hang on to certain stuff. Can I feel in touch with my childhood, feel loved, feel smart, be a fun person without a storageroom to define me? Maybe we all hoard to a certain extent. It must be harder to be present when we can’t let go of the past in fear of losing ourselves. Maybe the memories and feel of self, don’t get the place they deserve because it has become an external thing.

Since everything is forever changing, I have the intention of letting go of the fear, that the proces of change will lose me if I don’t hang on. And try to trust mySELF.

- The picture is painted by a man that I will never forget - Norman Knott. The day I met him I will always hold dear and it was a big part of my childhood. The feeling his presence gave me is in my heart, painting or no painting.

So long 2010 - with a big juicy smile... (Copy)

My very very first ever blog post. I have been very certain of the fact that I never wanted one. For many reasons, but I guess I never liked being too exposed. With that being said, more likely it is the fear of putting myself out there for other people to judge. But what the hell they  do it anyway, and if for no one else, this blog is my way of writing down some thoughts. So to those of you willing to read some of  it - I thank you. Going through the last year I was amazed of how much has happened. I found myself wondering hard if I during the last year, ever stopped a minute to be grateful... Well I am now and there are a lot of things to add to the list.

Thanks to twitter I found Sarah Prout who launched the eCourse AIM2011. Just being asked to write down what I am grateful for, I have felt so much lighter and happy. So for that I am grateful. Lilli (my daughter) is growing fast and I feel so lucky having her in my life. From being scared to be a parent and feeling lost in the strange mix of total anxiety of losing her and being extremely tired - I have fallen in love with the little girl. And it keeps growing. Along with her I have a wonderful man in my life. He has supported me in starting my own business in 2010, and takes the my nagging with patience... Bless him. We have no money and live crowded but we are happy together - what more can you ask for? Well a new bed maybe...

I have a ton of the best siblings and mother you could ask for and I'm very proud of every one of them. I cannot imagine not being a part of a big family with all the arguments, hugs and laughs that go with it. They have done great things in 2010, and I am thrilled that they all have talents and the courage to follow their dreams.

I have my business which I love. It's weird to call it my business as it is my way of life. It is what I truely love to do and I take my own pratice very seriously. I work with wonderful people who come to my courses to learn meditation and mindfulness. I am humbled by the people who chose to devote 8 weeks to do inner work and do something amazing for themselves. They are the stars and if there wasn't people with that kind of courage - I couldn't do what I do. The business has nothing to do with me, it's all about them. So thank you ladies.

So with the hope of having more juicy kisses and hugs from the little one I welcome 2011 with a lot of love and gratitude.

A big thanks to Nikole for spending the time to help me with the blog!