What is Self-compassion? (Copy)

Great question!

Some days I feels very unclear and I am judging myself a lot. Other days it feels very clear, and I do not beat myself up.

I believe in exploring, rather than giving answers (to some questions anyway) and I want you to feel into what self-compassion means and feels to you.

When you read the word self-compassion what comes up for you?

But, because it can be helpful to have an wise woman's word I would like to offer Kristin Neff’s thoughts on Self-Compassion. I am truly inspired by her and her work and can highly recommend her book. 

She writes that self-compassion consists of 3 elements: Self-Kindness, Common Humanity and Mindfulness. I feel they interweave, but that the first step is awareness. This brings us to know, and to the only moment we can move forward from.

Practice for this coming week

First step is really to become aware. Checking in and getting intimate with what is. An inner weather report if you will. So I'd like to introduce the short check-in.

Whenever you sit in the car, leave the house, go to the restroom or remember, do the following:

• Close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths
• Connect to whatever is going on right now, thoughts, kids screaming, lists and to do’s etc. As best you can without judging or hurrying to change it, just noticing.
• Sense the body, feet, buttocks, back, hands, head
• Not changing anything just noticing.
• When you feel ready open your eyes and continue your day

Do this as many times a day as you feel called to. What do you notice when you check in? Write a few words down in your journal or share in the comments below.

With love

Carina

Mondays... (Copy)

I just sold my company Mindful Ground. This means I can dedicate my full energy to the work that means so much to me - supporting mothers and being a mom. This also means a more consistent presence here on the blog - I am so excited. I have decided to dedicate Mondays to reflections and practices. Each Monday I will be sharing one or the other on the blog. For me it sets the stage for the week to come and even if I only ever touch on the theme that Monday it still has an flows through me throughout my day and sometimes the entire week.

I tend to get lost in all the offers of amazing courses out there. I sign up only to (once again) realize that I am not superwoman, I do not have 10 days a week, I do not have 8 arms or that much energy past 9pm (really it is probably more like 7pm... but who's checking). I am a mom of two kids and that means less time to me and at times also a shorter attention span.

Knowing that and respecting it, all reflections and practices offered here will be short, sweet and doable.

Having studied and worked with meditation for years, I found that after I became a mom the intense and longer practices wouldn't fit into my life to the same extent. For some they feel that the quality of their practice is poorer. This isn't necessarily true. In the work I do I want there to be that understanding - what ever offered it has to be able to integrate into life with kids. All of this to unfold more and more over the coming weeks and months.

During the week I will blog when inspired, but I hope you check in on Mondays, the next many posts are ready to be shared.

A short reflection... 

How could you take a little time to yourself this coming week? It doesn't have to be a lot. A 10 min. break, a walk, a cup of tea, a few yoga poses, closing your eyes and feeling the air against your skin. How does it feel to consciously choose to prioritize YOU?

(Don't beat yourself up if you don't create space this week, allow this reflection or practice to unfold when the time is right).

See you next Monday

With love Carina

I'm out... (Copy)

  So it's my 4 year birthday around this time,  I have been "in business" for 4 years. A lot of soul searching, mistake making and even more confusion has gone through the system.

When  I started out I liked creating, loved it actually. Writing, messing around with pictures and colors and getting it right... for me, reading comments and interacting with those who dropped by.

However, ever since I started out as a self-employed woman I have resisted it on some level. I love being my own boss. I love that I can go to work only wearing socks if I wanted to. But as with any uncommon ground (motherhood, new relationship etc) a little uncertainty sets in, and I at least have felt the need to follow the leaders.

I have joined close to every bizz style course you can - that's what you do eh?  It made me feel like I was doing it right, it would be horrible if I was viewed as unprofessional. So I nudged off track a wee bit. I have failed at pretty much every step I have been told to do. All the systems, because it WOULD make me grow - huh. Well it didn't.

Next thing I know I am tweaking my USP (Unique Selling Position) thinking this is pretty boring and not at all getting my heart in it. Then changing all my profile pictures so they were the same - no one likes a slob. Then creating profiles left right and center on social media sites. Next I am choosing a niche. Then I am driving myself to write "awesome" how to blog posts that always sort came out with the same vibe - the "I don't know, what do you feel?" vibe.

Then a business adviser who's last name was Focking (I kid you not) told me stop writing articles and posts in English and focus on the Danish crowd because that's where I live. And I can (and I think I will in posts to come) go on ...

I am fed up, I needed to go back and start again, with a little more knowledge and a lot more money down the drain.

So here's my new site, that has NONE of the above. And I am totally fine with it. I am back to creating, writing, going with the flow of what sits right with me and you reading. With a big happy birthday to the business

I hope you will join me here, the journey and the small acts of creativity, storytelling and honesty.

<3 Carina

If You Want to Be a Light for Your Family, Truly Evaluate Your Personal Presence (Copy)

Guest post by Haydee Montemayor

Womanhood and motherhood are two powerful forces that unite women worldwide. However, while on the outside we often express a desire to help other women, on the inside, we often gauge our own self-worth by comparing ourselves with other women. When we become mothers, we often compare how our child rearing practices measure up to those of others. Why? Because our ego’s insecurities kick in. We forget that we’re all one.

Motherhood has been THE BEST thing that ever happened to me. Shortly after I knew I was carrying a baby in my womb, I felt the most purposeful I’d EVER felt. I knew I was co-creating something special with the Universe and that made me feel important, blessed, worthy and complete. While pregnant, I started connecting with mothers online to help me have a healthy pregnancy and prepare for 100% natural childbirth (which I’m super blessed that I was able to have). And then came the baby :) . I realized then, that I didn’t know everything no matter how much I had read and prepared myself and that I had to and wanted to continue learning and researching how to be a good mother.

All my life I have been a go-getter. But you know what I realized after becoming a mother? That the things we pursue in hopes of happiness prior to becoming a mother are pale in comparison to the satisfaction that being a mother brings.

I also noticed that I'm missing two words in a sentence. It should read like this, can you please change it?

Since the first day that I brought my baby home with me after his birth, I realized that he was the reason why I’ve always enjoyed Edwin McCain’s “I Could Not Ask For More” song lyrics, which say:

“These are the moments I thank God that I’m alive

These are the moments, I’ll remember all my life

I found all I’ve waited for

And I could not ask for more

Looking in your eyes

Seeing all I need

Everything you are is everything to me

These are the moments

I know heaven must exist

These are the moments I know all I need is this

I have all I’ve waited for

And I could not ask for more

[Chorus]

I could not ask for more than this time together

I could not ask for more than this time with you

Every prayer has been answered

Every dream I have’s come true

And right here in this moment is right where I’m meant to be

Here with you, here with me.”

Experiencing a deep love for someone and rejection by something in society, as painful as it seems is convenient, because it gives one the perspective one needs. I've experienced first hand, multiple times in multiple settings, the pain, betrayal, guilt and life-sucking existence that comes from being a round peg in a square hole. And I was tired of it.

Once I experienced my rejection, I devoured books, joined challenges, participated in webinars, started a meditation practice, listened to TedTalks and prepared myself to for once, go after my dream and actually convert it into a reality. All this time, I had been waiting for permission to do what I wanted, which was writing. And when I realized that I LITERALLY had nothing else to lose if I wrote, I took this leap of faith.

I'm still amazed how society expects us to give the very best of ourselves, when we're really not allowed to truly be ourselves. There's some sort of disconnect. Don't you think? Of course we all want to improve, but it's hard to be motivated to improve on something that goes against your very nature and your very reason for being. Mothering, thank goodness is natural. Loving is natural. Both of these things are beautiful.

So now, aside from being my baby’s primary caregiver first and foremost, I'm a blogger who aims to uplift people by helping them focus on the what they have to work with, personally and in general. I identify with mom bloggers and women entrepreneurs and mothers the most, but I also have plenty of men who follow me. I suppose it's because we can all relate to wanting to enjoy the present more and for wanting to appreciate ourselves perhaps for the first time ever. As moms, our calling to birth and care for a baby is a great treasure. And that is in part, why I named my blog www.loveandtreasure.com. The slogan on my site is "Cherish whom at what you have, fully appreciate what you receive, and expand the radiance you can give."

My blog posts are a brief reminder that not only should we see life as a glass half full, instead of half empty, but we should see ourselves as fuller than we realize, wiser than we realize, more abundant than we realize, because no matter what is going on in our life, we are always blessed and experiencing exactly what it is that we need to be experiencing for us to radiate all of our essence into the world. As long as we can feel present and worthy, we can have the energy to propel our lives and our families forward.

Haydee Montemayor’s Bio

Haydee Montemayor lives with her husband, son and dog in the United States. Even though Haydee has been cautious to put any label on her other than mother, if you had to define her, you could say that she is a:

• spiritual being, who likes to dream but who, similarly, has a healthy dose of realism that allows her to keep her feet on the ground,
• someone who doesn’t like rigid conventions
• a modern day soulful philosopher who is enamored by the “why” and the mechanics of life– especially when it comes to the deep and mystical things in life
• a mortal and a spirit who always tries to squeeze the most out of everything in life… even those occasional lemons that life hands you. =)
• a being who is part of the next- generation of spiritual thinkers who is here to embrace life fully and invite others to do the same.
• a writer
• an Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Wayne Dyer and Caroline Myss student and follower
• and most importantly, a loving mother

Haydee’s Commitments to You

“I am committed to inspiring you to love and treasure your family, your nourishment, your love relationships, your friends, your home, your belongings, your body, your mind and your spirit. As a matter of fact, that is why the slogan for the blog is, “Cherish whom at what you have, fully appreciate what you receive, and expand the radiance you can give.” I believe that NOTHING in life will matter— no accomplishment, no salary, no achievement, if you don’t first develop a sense of gratitude for what you already have. And as you’ll learn, if you haven’t already, you already have A LOT of positive things going for you, whether you can see them clearly right now or not. No matter what your financial life looks like, we are richer than the vast majority of the world. Even simple things that we often take for granted like electricity and plumbing make us so. But we have to be present enough to see these things in order to be of any value to the world.”

How I Show Up In My Life And Keep Grounded (Copy)

Guest post by Rosie Slosek

I've always been a passionate live wire, it's part of who I am. I love having energy, ambition and enthusiasm. It's also important to be calm and relaxed, and that's why being grounded matters so much to me. It helps me gets done what needs to happen for what's important.

This is how I prioritise it in my life.

Daily I have this voice in my head about what I should be like as a woman. I expect you know what I'm talking about. That voice gets a severe talking to several times a day and slowly it is being evicted from my head. I also have lots of little luxuries to nurture my sense of self. A cup of tea, a square of chocolate, a short walk, five minutes online window shopping. It re-centres me and reminds me who I am, my goals, and to stay on track.

Weekly  Every week I have an artist date (from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron). I go to a local coffee shop and enjoy uninterrupted time to pause, relax, or write. Sometimes it's about my business, sometimes it isn't. It's whatever I need that day. I'm writing this on an artist date with a cup of tea by my side.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Artists-Way-Discovering-Recovering/dp/0330343580/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1389652357&sr=8-1&keywords=julia+cameron

My other weekly ritual is yoga in the church hall. The teacher encourages, supports, and tucks a blanket over you if it's cold. It's such gentle exercise using every muscle in a relaxing way, and it's calming for my mind.

Monthly I go to heart-centred networking events at least once a month. Each meeting is an opportunity to re-evaluate and recommit to my goals. Heart-centred networking is the kind where you can relax, be yourself, and no-one will save you warm white wine or shove a business card in your face and then walk off. Meetup.com is a great site to find events and they don't need to be business orientated. They've made a real difference to me given my tendency to isolate myself. http://www.meetup.com/

Online Community My online community buddies are the best. They support and encourage me, they share my content, comment on my blog posts, share joys and disappointments, and I know someone is always there to help. It'a a good balance to the negativity in my head that's easy to get hung up on. It's very grounding.

There are lots of communities online and I often do e-courses for the people. Courses from Dexterous Diva, The Freelance Lifestyle and Rosalilium been such a help to me. We do the contact together and it's made a measurable difference to me personally and my bottom line.

http://dexterousdiva.co.uk/

http://www.emmacossey.com/

http://www.rosalilium.com/

Showing up in my life means being present in the moment and appreciating life through the ups, downs, joys and mundane. When I'm grounded daily, weekly, monthly and through community. I am more available to my partner and loved ones and what really matters in my life.

It's so invigorating being around such inspiring women in my life, and community is what keeps us all going forward.

Here's to us! Share in the comments what helps keep you grounded to what matters in your life.

Rigtig godt klaret af os! Del gerne dine erfaringer i en kommentar!

Riktigt bra jobbat av oss! Dela med dig av dina erfarenheter i kommentarerna! [Swedish]

Riktig godt jobbet! Del gjerne dine erfaringer i kommentarfeltet! [Norwegian]

Hyvin tehty! Jätä kommentti ja kerro sinun omista kokemuksista. [Finnish]

About Rosie Rosie Slosek is a money expert who lives and works in London. She specialises in offering money management and tax return support to freelancers and one person businesses.

Rosie sends a brownie to every client.

http://onemanbandaccounting.co.uk/

https://twitter.com/1ManBandAccts

https://www.facebook.com/onemanbandaccounting

From Hidden to Seen - My Struggle with Keeping Myself Small (Copy)

Guest Post by Daisy Hernandez

"Life is but a dream, said someone once. And I truly believe it. Like a dream, it can end abruptly and all you're left with are the experiences lived." - dh

From Hidden to Seen - My Struggle with Keeping Myself Small

I was once on the other side of that quote. I was on the side of life being somewhat of a nightmare; I had somehow become a bit of a cynic between my teen years and late twenties. But you wouldn't have guessed it by simply looking at me or even talking to me, I've always been somewhat of a 'ray of sunshine'. But when I felt blue, everything I looked at was blue and that ray became but a glimmer.

Instead of lifting myself up, I'd put myself back down. There was a sense of comfort being there, so I stayed there. Plus the company I would keep was no help in changing that, on the contrary.

I got a point where I wanted something different and when depression crossed my mind, I went looking for a counsellor. His words forever changed my world. He said: "You're too much of a giver. And you need to give to yourself first, before you can give to others." Strange, right? In my world it was.

Being Latina, there's a level of respect you must give to elders, a sense of submission to men, and a level of service to everyone else. As women, no matter the family that raised you, this becomes part of your culture and therefore, you.

Though I've always been feisty, trying to abide by such rules was near impossible. Not because I wanted to be disrespectful, but because I felt that any level of respect must be earned, submission should be a choice not a given, and service...well, that I could stand by.

Having been brought up in two different cultures (first years in Latin America, later years in the Great White North), you can guess the confusion inside of me. What I felt I should do vs what I was told to do because of a cultural background. All of this was rooted deep within me without me understanding it fully, it wasn't at a conscious level. But the uneasy feeling was very much there.

My counsellor's words hit me like a bucket of freezing water. And subconsciously, it did something. I began to notice that whenever I felt blue from then on, rather than drown myself in depressive music, I'd do the opposite. I created a playlist labeled "Lift Up" and songs like "Mickey" and "The Look" became part of its repertoire. I'd cut that comfort in half and began to move into a completely different territory.

I began shifting my mindset. I somehow became stronger, I began showing my strength. I saw the many possibilities of being ME and standing up for what I wanted. It was like night and day.

Even my company took at 180 turn. I gave up my relationship with a close relative, ended my relationship with my partner, jumped on a very scary unknown way of life. A new apartment, new possibilities.

What does that have to do with giving? I was giving myself time and space to come back into myself.

I began to learn how to take care of myself, how to help myself feel my best from within and began to feel lighter. No more heavy thinking or carrying the whole world on my shoulders.

It all started with a baby step. Identifying change is possible and putting things in place to help move me forward.

And hey, there are challenging days. It's not all picture perfect, but now I know it's my choice to drown or swim.

My roots will always be a part of me but, just as you can choose what to wear every morning, you can also choose what to carry with you.

I will continue to respect others, serve others, and at times, be submissive...but it's all my choice. Not the choices others want for me.

And I think that's important, to make that distinction between following versus considering.

There's no way I could have ever imagined jumping into an entrepreneurial role, helping other women embrace their uniqueness and guide them toward a lighter way of life that supports their "over the top" goals, with the comfort level I had in keeping myself hidden from the world.

My challenge to you is to identify a baby step you can start taking NOW to move you toward the stronger you that's been hidden.

About Daisy

Daisy Hernandez is the creator of Pura Chica Natural, a digital resource dedicated to empowering long-term change by shifting into a cleaner, stronger, more powerful version of yourself - naturally! She offers personal 1:1 sessions in both English & Spanish, self-paced programs such as the Challenge Your Cravings ecourse, and full, fun-loving support to help make that shift happen.

Connect with her on Facebook (Facebook.com/PuraChicaNatural), Twitter (twitter.com/purachicantrl), Instagram (instagram.com/daisyhdez), YouTube (youtube.com/user/PuraChicaNaturalTV)

Cheers to Fear: A Powerful Life Lesson Happy Women Can’t Live Without (Copy)

Guest Post by Elspeth Misiaszek

On January 6, 2011 my business partner called me into his office. He looked me right in the eye and said, “I need to go at this solo.”

Right there on the spot, like I was garbage being thrown to the street, he fired me.

My entire body went completely still. A wave of angst and … absolute calm? … washed over me.

Like a flash, all the years of late nights, hundreds of handshakes, thousands of phone calls, and blisters from long days door-knocking zipped right through me. I felt something I’d never, ever imagined I could feel.

I felt grateful. When I joined the company, it was a start-up corporation. I left my job, started dating this man whom I truly believed in, and gave myself, heart and soul, to his lifelong dream of business ownership.

But there was a problem. He simply wasn’t as smart as my naïve rosy glasses made him out to be. He’d miscalculated how much money he’d need for overhead; there wasn’t a dime left over for my salary.

What should have been my leap of faith into a life of entrepreneurial independence quickly turned into a test of loyalty. I’d resigned from my job and moved in with him, leaving behind my old life. There was nothing to go back to.

After a few years, when we ended our relationship, we agreed that I had accrued sweat-equity in the business equivalent to my unpaid wages. He was able to fire me (he was the majority partner regardless) thanks to my own absolute stupidity; I hadn’t gotten our agreement in writing.

It was his loss, as well, to feel he could go at it solo. I earned the business from 50% to 60% of its gross sales, over $120,000 my third year. I was the face of the company, showing up at every local event possible. All of the biggest residual clients were thanks to my follow-through.

But I was also a fool. Because in the end, there was really only one thing that held me back. A thing that every single one of us lives with. A thing so deep and so dark most of us would rather ignore it than admit it’s there.

In the end, I blame my fear for keeping me by his side. For three years, it blinded me from moving powerfully forward into my own success, even as his personal flaws were amplified by a business spotlight.

But in one sentence, in one swift action, his choice changed it all for me. I was free of him, free of the needy business baby, and free to find what was next for me.

eMarketing Copywriter was born in 2011. I have always been a writer, but, truthfully, I exceled at sales as well. My skill set in small business has allowed me to quadruple my income from year one to year three.

And you know what? I am still humbled every single day to get to do what I love. The message I have for every single woman entrepreneur I meet is a simple one:

Embrace your fear. Take all of your negative energy, sad days, and bad vibes, and transition them into something positive. If you feel angry at a colleague, turn your anger into a business lesson. When an employee lets you down, switch it over to a reflection on your management style.

Most of all, cry when you need to. Let yourself sob like a child while you acknowledge that it’s only pure, natural fear lurking somewhere deep. After all, the fear might make you pause for a minute, or redden your eyes for the night, but you sure as hell should never, ever let it stop you.

And while it may not be entirely relevant, I’m sure you’ll want a synopsis of how he’s doing since my life moved on. In March of 2011, my COBRA health insurance policy was canceled due to lack of payment on his part.

In 2012, I sued him for back wages … and won. He continued to pay me a decent little court appointed sum every month for over a year. The payments were consistently ‘in the mail’ almost a month late.

When a business colleague called me a few weeks ago, she said she hadn’t seen him in almost three years.  In fact, she didn’t even know what had become of him or his business. Nor, added my powerful, wonderful, amazing executive friend, did she care. I feel exactly the same way.

Too busy to draft your own content? Hire a ghostwriter.

About Elspeth Elspeth Misiaszek uses her writing and online marketing skills to help vegan businesses, coaches and entrepreneurs increase sales on their websites and blogs. Email today for a free consultation. Check out Elspeth's website here http://www.emarketingcopywriter.com/

What the hell is she doing anyway? (Copy)

I have to face the fact that I am a talker. I have serious issues at times with getting clear. I have a mentor that always "suggests" a less broad language... hmmm well ok, I am working on it. Some might say it's bad for business, or how will people know what to come to you for IF YOUR'RE NOT CLEAR??? And as always with this blog challenge I am doing, I am asked to get crystal clear... The blog challenge Day 10 is:

Which are the key online revenue streams you want to focus on in your existing business?

So basically "What are doing with the your life and business Carina?" Sometimes I find it hard, because in the field I am in, there is no ONE or RIGHT way. I work with life, and that happens is all sorts of ways. I draw on my experience with meditation, mindfulness, yoga specialized in women's body and energy and sometime fall short in how put that into a few bullets...

I know what's important to me though. And that's that people feel connected, worthy, happy, and that they feel that they belong - because everyone deserves that in their life. I want people to own their stories without being caught up in the drama of it, finding peace and ease in everyday life. 

As to how I want to bring this to life in offerings and ways to connect is:

• through one on one programs. These are for the people who are so ready to commit that they feel it in their bones. I love these connections because it is a safe place.
• through the Free Blog Challenge. A way for people not ready to take the big leap, to try out the idea of letting go of a life ruled by stress, auto-pilot, worry and unhappiness.
• through retreats that give people some intense time to look within, relax, meditate and take a break from everyday life, to see it in a clearer light.

And a few other cool things that I am cooking up...

I may not always be clear in my sales pitches and pages, but I am so clear on my vision and WHY I do this work in the first place.

Without any spiritual dogma, and keeping both feet on the ground I want YOU to feel compassion, connection and care for yourself!

Sending these some love (Copy)

Sometimes you just stumble across people that inspire you. And sometimes you just forget to tell them that that's what they do - inspire. So this is the month of challenges (in many ways) and we have come to day 9 i Natalie's blog challenge. They question today is:

Whose online business do you admire most and why?

I have to go 3-fold today. There are too many people I admire to cook it down to 1. I have never been good at "would you rather die by shark attack or fall off a cliff" and the "You HAAAAAVE to chose" kind of games... So not going to limit myself this time either.

1. Is Joanna Lindenbaum from Soulfulcoach.com

She is such a talented woman and always spot on. Her way of getting so close and personal even though she works 98% online amazes me. She brings her heart to what she does and it oooozes through the internet. When I grow up I want to be like her.

2. Is Caroline Cain from carolinecain.com

She is just so down to earth and really REALLY knows how to speak so you understand on a mental and visceral level. I could listen to her forever, and makes living healthy and happy sound like something that is possible, without changing everything about yourself... bonus.

3. Is Sarah Avant Stover from saraavantstover.com

I have never met her, but I adore how she brings women together via her online community. Important work and really something that more women need to engage in. When we go on our around the world trip next year, I might just have to ask her to drink coffee with me. :)

Besides those 3, I also have to send some online love to Natalie - she just helps so many people do what they love smarter.

<3

Anxiety got me started! (Copy)

Ahh Day 7 - This blog challenge really doesn't feel like a challenge. Which is awesome - big thanks to Ms. Sisson. Today's question is great - just up my alley.

Which key tools will you turn to regularly to maintain your mindset and how will you use them effectively?

For years I delt with anxiety. Panic attacks, a constant sense of nervousness in my body, scared of being scared ruled my life. I isolated myself more and more, just from feeling so tired and not knowing how to face people anymore.

My way through those years became my meditation practice. I wasn't enlightened or fell in love with a guru. I just sensed tiny shifts for every time a sat and closed my eyes and let go of control. It wasn't always peace and ease - but more about handling what arose.

I became less scared and reactive, but learned to respond with more clarity. I began to see I had a choice. No matter how I felt, I was in control of the next step.

As for my mindset anxiety has become my "warning signal". I haven't had a full blown attack in years, but when a certain feeling creeps up I know it well, I know that this is when to slow down, take better care of my self, and allow myself to be vulnerable.

Easy - no, necessary - Yes.

Meditation and presence isn't only what happens on a cushion somewhere quiet. I bring it with me. It is how I move through life. It is compassion, care, curiosity, it is being connected to how I feel.

I am still me, I still have triggers and less flattering sides at times, but I am so much more aware of how they effect me, and stop a lot sooner then I did before. It is just so much easier to deal with when I am not on never ending auto-pilot.

So what supports me in business and life (and hey isn't it all just life??) is my meditation practice.

Perfection is feeding chickens... (Copy)

So I thought I would skip Day 5 of the blog challenge, but then something perfect happened, and I had to go back to this challenge.

The question for Day 5 was: What’s does your perfect day look like?

I have written this down for every single business program I have attended. All good fun, but sometimes it just feels so far away. Maybe mostly because I have tended to think it had to be really different from my life as it is. Those perfect days are great, but I want to remember that the process is just so much more important. That's why I do what I do - to live my life as it is happening.

Being self-employed can be challenging, I  often loose sight, get into a panic when we are low on cash, sit up too long at nights and do everything that all the really rich business people tell you not to do.  My website isn't perfect, I don't have really expensive pictures and badges. I procrastinate and drink too much coffee. I mess up and say I'm sorry a lot.

I meditate and look at the guilt I feed myself and compassion is a part of it. So do I strive for perfection or see perfection in what is. The other day it became SO clear.

Last Thursday I decided to keep my oldest daughter home from daycare. My partner had done a night shift and was sleeping. On impulse me and the two girls hopped on the bike and went for a little ride. We ended up in a little haven in the middle of Copenhagen. A little area with farm animals.

We were invited in to feed the chickens and pet the rabbits. We ate apples and had a chat with a 94 year old man. We ended up having the time of our lives.

I was behind on work, reading, napping but in those few hours my day was perfect. Just what I want - freedom, happy children, time to enjoy the little things, and the ability to let go.

In the back of my mind Lou Reed was singing "Just a perfect day"... minus images from the movie Trainspotting...

What is does your perfect day look like? 

Homeless or independent? (Copy)

Ahhh Day 4 of the Blog challenge. I am warming up, getting into writing again - which is so much fun. The feel of getting clear and focused is great. Little by little the post are making more sense... to me. :) So today's question from Ms. Natalie S. is: What is your definition of location independence?

When I first started out, I felt more homeless than independent. I worked/work at home for the most part, besides when I teach meditation classes. Which is great, but can create a little trouble in really getting clear on the difference between WORK HOURS and FAMILY/RELAXATION TIME. Do you know the feeling?

(I work at home with a little more advanced hardware...)

Instead of me going to work and coming home, my family sort of comes home and invades my work space. And that just isn't fair to them or me. So not having an office created a little stress for everyone in the house. I have gone to cafés etc. but couldn't get into a real flow there. So I have roamed the streets with my laptop seeking, and not working...

It has been my excuse for why I haven't been totally focused and why my business has taken a while to really get moving. UNTIL I met Natalie, and not having a base to work from really couldn't be the excuse anymore.

It draws back to the last few posts about freedom. I have clients where I go to their house, I teach group classes at a beautiful venue, I do 1:1s a third place, and do admin work at home or where ever I can find a quiet spot.

Now, instead of feeling homeless, I like to think of it as having many "homes". Being connected and spreading my wings all over town. Using the various spots for the different purposes that are called for there. It all gives me room to change, evolve, create without having to deal with the admin of having my own office. Which I know, for me, would take even more focus from what I am really passionate about.

It's a balance and takes some ability to adapt and work with what you've got, but isn't life that way anyway?

When I used to be a puppy dog... (Copy)

Blog challenge DAY 3 - What’s your definition of freedom in business and adventure in life?  My lovely brother used to tell amazing stories of when he was a puppy dog. We all listened and laughed, but he was always caught up in the stories like he really had been a cute little dog and oh  my the adventures!

In a lot of ways I look back at the time before a became a mommy dog, hmm grown up, hmm gave birth to two beautiful girls, with smiles and nostalgia. Missing life as it was. I remember feeling and speaking of myself as adventurous and interesting. Life just flowed in whatever way we, and it, wanted to.

Awakening to the fact that I am now human, with bags under my eyes and subtle smell of spit up, makes me divide adventure and now even more...

I really love my life, but I don't feel so adventurous anymore. Or I guess contemplating the question it all comes back to MY definition of what that is. Where I see lack, and where I see life and joy unfolding before me. Adventure has turned into some huge and un-reachable thing. Nothing to with responsibility, worries or domestic life.

Freedom in business is what I am doing (close to anyway - still working on the how). But freedom is in the fact that I am in charge. I can have a full day mid-week with the girls if that's what we want to do. I can sit in my PJs all day and write emails, I can work with the most inspiring clients because I chose to (and they chose me).

Within our family, work doesn't define how we live, 9-5 etc. We define the life we want and how business can be a part of that - amazing eh!?

Next year we are leaving our apartment and crossing the US and Canada. It might take 8 months, maybe 9 and we are just going to go with it. Going back to my roots and visiting my family in the reserve, feeling the wind in our hair, showing the girls that part of the world, and living our adventure as a family, with responsibility, and I guess you always worry a little as a parent.

Adventure in life is living it fully, with the circumstances you face. Going after what you dream of without being attached to the outcome. And I think I will remind myself of that from now on...

If I were free... (Copy)

Aha, blog challenge Day 2. Was feeling all great about Day 1. And then... Day 2 challenge:

If you woke up tomorrow and were free to do anything you wanted with your life, what would you do and who would you be?

Gulp... well freedom. I have wanted to be free most of my adult life, and then after working with several teachers, attending a bunch of retreats, and meditating for years, I find out I am already free, and then I forget it again...

But thinking of the question in mind I do have desires. After working through Danielle LaPorte's Desire course, I really feel good about desire. Something I thought, for a while, I couldn't, if I were to follow the Buddha's words. Anyway...

If I were/felt free I would be me, but happier. I would be me, but complain less. I would be me, and enjoy my family more. I would be me, but with more smiles. I would have a thriving business working with what I love. I would live life as I dream of. I would say "I am" instead of "I would be"... 

What can make me smile is remembering, that I am free to do what I want. Panic, money, sleepless hours get to me sometimes, and pushes me to look closer at my fears and worries. In times when it takes different shapes, when life throws you a challenge, I am free to relate to it in the way that I want.

For me freedom and feeling free is there more than it isn't.

Being curious and connected supports me on the journey in life, and I tend not to strive (read slave drive) myself, but remember the process of life - it is happening anyway, why not show up for it?

For me that's where freedom awaits - showing up for life, as it is happening.

Do you show up? 

Why do it at all? (Copy)

I AM BACK - in english. :) So I joined the blog challenge over at the suitcase entrepreneur. And this is day 1... Today is all about why? Something that in business has been a great adventure the past 3 years. Why do I do what I do - and at other times "what the hell am I doing...?"

I started this blog back in 2011, because I wanted to share my story. I wanted to let people know how I use and practice meditation in everyday life. I have 2 daughters, a business, loads of friends I have neglected and a big family that I love. It is important to me that practice, integrating meditation and becoming more present in life, is down to earth. It is doable for everyone.

I feel very passionate about inspiring others to own their story, and break free from the drama of it, and use it to connect to their sense of worth and belonging. Because of that I want to share mine - honest, connected, and out loud.

That being said, I fell off the wagon. I had a good start, then business panic, then work freeze, then another baby, and bam 2 years later there hasn't been a lot of activity.

So the amazing Natalie Sisson sent me an email, gave me a push and I am back to share, listen and connect to my creativity again.

I am back on Twitter as well... Oh my. Maybe you would like to connect? I'm at @mindfulground

See you tomorrow. :)

Letting go... (Copy)

So, this summer has been a time of great change. Not so much around me, but in me. What do I wish for me and my family, what do I want for my business, and what do I want to spend my time working on. I love writing in english, and I truely feel that I have something to say. However, I have had to make a decision. What is this blog and why do I spend time writting. And for the moment I have made the choice to change this blog from an english version to a danish.

It has been a hard choice, as it means letting go of a dream I have had with this blog and what I wanted it to do. But as a lot of you know, once you do let go of something that is "weighing you down" it can feel so liberating. I have always been the kind of person who wants to change the world. I am sure I will... :) But I have to start closer to home - with me... he he. We will see how it goes.

So from now on you can read this blog in Danish. Thank you all for leaving your comments, and sharing your thoughts, it has meant the world to me.

Here's to new dreams and moments unfolding.

xox Carina

FUZZY (Copy)

This week I went to an amazing concert with Grant Lee Buffalo. It has been ages since my partner and I have been to a gig. Music has always been a really big part of my life and our relationship. Becoming a mom of course slowed things down a bit, very naturally - anything going on after 9pm has been pretty non-existing... But even before my daughter was born, I started to stay in more, didn't really enjoy being social, couldn't stand noise, crowds etc. As the stress level in my life rose, and anxiety attacks joined the game - I closed me up. I have been so scared of dying, that I stopped living freely.

My meditation practice has been a great part of me opening myself up to life again. And it feels amazing. Standing there listening to amazing music, having a beer, standing close to the man I love, Grant Lee Phillips all of the sudden asked the crowd "Are you affraid of life". I could honestly say that at that moment in time I was truely not. And for the first time in ages I truely mean it.

Enjoy a little "FUZZY".

Getting lost in the woods. (Copy)

This summer I needed a break from the city, the internet and my iPhone! My daughter and I took off, with some of my family to Sweden. In the middle of no where, a little house just sat there waiting.

It was so peaceful and the air so fresh, that I instantly felt at ease.

The past few years going through time with serveral anxiety attacks a day, becoming a mom and struggling with feeling sane enough for it..., and opening up to my sensitivity more, living in the city has become a bit of a stress factor. Living in constant noise doesn't have great effect on my system. So I knew this would be just what I needed.

Even the shower was amazing, standing butt naked with a full front view of the woods. And no peeping Toms.

The toilet being very good for the environment, was not so much a place for meditation...

This trip reminded me of the importance of re-charging, creating space in my life, and that although full of life, the city and being online ALL THE TIME, does have a negative effect on me and my stress level. And even better, to my big surprise of course, the city and my partner DID survive without me for a while...

The blog post is kicking off the blog, again. so this fall will be time for writing and hopefully interacting with you all.

Review: Mommy meditations (Copy)

  I was very thrilled when I was contacted, and asked to review this cd. Providing a cd that for new mothers is something that I would like to do at some point. I am glad that there is an offer for women with smallchildren. I know it is needed, and our children benefit so much from a happy mother.

It took a while for it to get to me, not on the mommy meditation’s fault though. We live in a world where anything is possible - apart from downloading a mp3 from amazon and itunes because I am based in Denmark - amazing... But it made its way. : )

The 15 min. meditation is great for finding a sense of calm in a time with a lot of change and no sleep.  The cd is short and has the essentials. I know from my own experience that short is good when time is the same.

There is a guided meditation, a track with music, and also a good introduction to the hows and whys. You aren’t left to guess or spend time wondering if you are doing it right. I think that was very smart and you can relax into the meditation. They cleverly put the introduction on a seperate track, so you don’t have to listen to it everytime, and as you get more experienced.

If I am to critique anything it would be the use of the word mommy between adults. I am not a big fan, and would prefer mom or mother instead. But that is not important during the meditations.

I would recommend the Mommy meditation cd for new moms. And I am grateful for the chance to enjoy the meditations myself.

Aware Parenting and Living a Conscious Life By Hannah Andrews (Copy)

Aware Parenting is a term coined by Aletha Solter. It is a parenting paradigm that has transformed families and their children around the world. Families practicing Aware Parenting raise healthy (both physically and emotionally) children that are willing to co-operate, have respect for other people and are willing and able to learn. Aletha has written 4 books; The Aware Baby, Raising Drug-Free Kids, Tears & Tantrums and Helping Young Children Flourish. Aware Parenting supports children’s full scale of emotions. It seems in today’s society that whenever a child cries, we immediately do all we can to stop it. Crying is a normal human emotion, just like anger, sadness, frustration and is just like happiness, joy and bliss, except on the other end of the scale. As we move into a new era of change through breaking down of old systems and Mother Earth showing us that the way the world is living is not 100% working. We need change, and starting with our children is where it is at.

Aletha’s books are full of research confirming that tears contain certain hormones that are released from the body, through tears when crying. As with all other means of elimination through the body ie toilet, sweat, nose and mouth, these functions of the physical body all have a very definite purpose. When all your child’s physical needs have been met, and they are still crying – what do you do? All you need to do is move in close, let them know you are here for them, it is ok to cry and be present with them. Let them know you love them and that you are not leaving them when they are upset. Let them get it all out with your loving presence.

Crying is a feeling. Some people say, well children don’t have stress, babies don’t have stress they ‘should’ be happy all the time. The truth is that babies do get stressed, children do get stressed. Going to the shopping centre is overwhelming as is a day at childcare. What we consider not stressful, for a child still learning about the world is very stressful. A baby coming out of a womb into cold air, smells, sounds and even the experience of learning how to use their physical body – is very stressful. What we take for granted, they are still learning. Ever been to a new place and get lost because you don’t know where you are or how to get where you need to go? Is that stressful? Can that be frightening if you are in a country you don’t speak their language? This is how it is for children all the time. The only way they can release and heal – is through crying. Supported crying with an empathetic listener.

Embracing children for all that they are is accepting all parts of them. The happiness as well as the sadness. If crying is a normal human emotion and it is scientifically proven the benefits and stress release through crying and we are not listening to our children’s crying when they are young, what message does that tell them? What do you do when your child cries? If all their physical needs are met, what do you do if they are still crying? How do you feel when they are crying? If you are uncomfortable with crying there is a way for change. Most of society is uncomfortable with crying due to the way they were treated when they were a child crying. When your child cries are you doing the same thing that was done to you? By living a conscious life and being aware of your own feelings, you have the power to change the way you respond to your child’s behavior - whether ‘good’ or ‘bad’. What do you do when you are upset? How do you feel when you have finished a big cry?

If your goal is to raise healthy children who are connected to their true self, then I highly recommend learning more about Aware Parenting and looking to your own past to heal the hurts that are preventing you from being truly connected to your children and family in healthy intimate ways.

To learn more visit

www.awareparenting.com

www.parentingwithpresence.net

www.realityawareness.com

About Hannah:

Yoga teacher, Spiritual teacher and Mother, Hannah completed her Yoga Teacher Training in 2008 after 3 years of intense personal practise. Increased physical energy, mental clarity, alertness and increasing conscious awareness is fueling her passion to pass this valuable and life giving gift onto others.

Growing up through a dysfunctional family system, peers led her into a dark period of high risk drug taking as a teenager. Through a journey of intense personal transformation after hitting rock bottom in 2004, Yoga became the new high. With committed practise, the drugs naturally fell away. Inner transformation occurred as the body and mind were stretched to new limits. Whilst completing her training as a Yoga Teacher, she experienced a pregnancy coupled with Domestic Violence. Throughout all this, Yoga has been the lifesaver - with it's natural anti-depressant remedies, the physical strength building the emotional strength, and the peace that she feels when moving through the Asanas, she has found her heart in something she loves and is passionate about sharing this experience with others.

Training as a Lightworker Practitioner in 2005 allowed her to become aware of how the Spiritual affects the Physical. This has lead to a new way of Being, one which is positively transformational. Hannah loves sharing 'what works' and strongly agrees with empowering clients with tools and knowledge. This enables the client to have resources available and the capability to take responsibility to shift their life from negative to positive.

Pregnancy, childbirth and parenting has allowed her to expand her awareness to new heights. Practicing Aware Parenting with her daughter, her journey has increased to a new heightened awareness which she brings into her Yoga classes through feeling and breath. To experience, accept and claim all parts of ourselves, can see us returning to the wholeness for which we are in Truth.

Hannah teaches with authenticity, awareness and breath and trusts that the experience you have from being in her presence, will give you a new lease on life, even if only for a moment. Let the transformation begin.