Keeping it real

Put on your Red Shoes... (Copy)

Ruth St Denis in a Burmese solo dance.

Something I have always admired is when people have the ability to play, let lose, dance crazy just because, kind of like Phoebe from friends and the episode where her and Rachel go for a run and Phoebe runs crazy, just because it makes it more fun (have you ever watched that episode?).

Anyway the more I play, dance around, laugh, giggle, fool around with my kids the better I feel. I also know that in stressful times I do less of the fun stuff and it makes me feel stuck and down.

In our house we all love to dance around. Not because we are that great at it, but we just have fun doing it. I love dancing and the music and the smiles that come with it. Everywhere around the World dance and music are a part of culture.

How about making this the week of shaking it?

I would like to focus on DANCE. I want you to turn up the Radio or put on your favorite tune and dance. Invite your kids to join you or do it on your own. Move your body, smile, feel foolish, free and dance. For sure for some it will feel weird or uncomfortable but see if you can push yourself a little with this one.

And for inspiration I would encourage you to watch this little video. I love this dude…

If dancing isn't for you, is there another activity that you feel is fun that you would like to commit to, and that does have a focussed outcome?

With love

Carina

The perfect, imperfect poem (Copy)

imperfect

Maybe we just misunderstand what it says - I'm-perfect... :)

All I want to do today is share a poem about the icky and sticky subject of imperfection.  It is such a lovely poem and I feel it resonating with  A LOT in my life. Do you?

 

IMPERFECTION

I am falling in love with my imperfections The way I never get the sink really clean, forget to check my oil, lose my car in parking lots, miss appointments I have written down, am just a little late.

I am learning to love the small bumps on my face the big bump of my nose, my hairless scalp, chipped nail polish, toes that overlap.

Learning to love the open-ended  mystery of not knowing why

I am learning to fail to make lists, use my time wisely, read the books I should.

Instead I practice inconsistency, irrationality, forgetfulness.

Probably I should hang my clothes neatly in the closet all the shirts together, then the pants, send Christmas cards, or better yet a letter telling of my perfect family.

But I’d rather waste time listening to the rain, or lying underneath my cat learning to purr.

I used to fill every moment with something I could cross off later.

Perfect was the laundry done and folded all my papers graded the whole truth and nothing but

Now the empty mind is what I seek the formless shape the strange  off center sometimes fictional me.

Elizabeth Carlson

Hey fatso... you are looking good (Copy)

1481457389_86532082cb_b

Well I guess this a more iffy subject for me. So I will dive into it a little gently.

The foundation of my work is that you belong here exactly as you are. There is no perfect ideal to strive for. You have an enormous amount of wisdom in you and maybe it takes slowing down to listen to that. I wish that this could be the way we all step into our lives. This is not to say that we can't shift, unfold, evolve. I am exploring the starting point and the tendency to feel wrong, to feel that we only deserve a place when we fit and mold ourselves into a certain standard - however we define what that looks like.

I know that for me not owning that statement has been exhausting. In motherhood I read books, looked at women who wizzed through the challenging parts and I felt like a constant failure. The art of comparison once again left me feeling less worthy. The foundation of being wrong or less than, isn't a nice place to be and very very seldom leads to a life with happiness and ease.

I will be digging deeper into that statement in further posts... for now a story of how I was challenged recently.

I was out for drinks with my two sisters. We had a great time and we decided to end the good times with a burger. Now it is no secret that I have put on weight after the 2 pregnancies and what not, but burger it was - YOLO or something.

In the cue some guys felt that we had cut in line, and looked at me and said that I probably shouldn't be in there anyway considering my weight. Well tears galore and I felt shitty. Reduced to an unworthy lump of Blubber (did you every read Judy Blume's book? It's awesome... anyway).

Fastforward 2 weeks and my man and I are away for the weekend for a music festival. As I am coming out of the toilet area a woman stops me. She is a scout for a model agency and thinks I would be an awesome model for the normal size/curve department... huh...

So which "truth" do I go with? A third - my own? How I see myself? How I feel about myself? Or do I let either of their perspectives rule and dictate wether I feel worthy just as I am? Do I wait till I have xx weight to go out again or do I pout my lips and work it like a supermodel? The "you belong here, exactly as you are" reminds me that none of the above is my truth. It is their eyes looking at me. What matters is how I look at me. And this has been such an awesome reminder.

This is what we can work on - how you see you. And knowing that you belong here, you already are. <3

What do you love... (Copy)

 about you...?

So how did it go with checking in last week? If you didn't read last week's post you can find it here..

Rick Hanson wrote the book “Hard Wiring Happiness” . In it he talks about letting short glimpses of happiness expand. Allowing yourself to begin to see happiness instead of all that is going wrong in you life. He also describes how this change in focus and wayof living, changes the circuit in your brain - very interesting!

I believe that this can be linked to self-compassion. You can feel love and compassion, maybe briefly, and then find a million reasons why that isn’t true or why you don’t deserve it, or how you aren't the person you want to be. This is simplified of course, but today I want to shine a light on focus, and a little shift on how you focus on you.

As moms we want to do our best. We feel and have great responsibility and love for our children. This can also bring on the judgment and guilt and sense of 'when will I ever be good enough'? To be in that place is very stressful.

A lot of wise people have said where your focus goes, your energy flows. As I feel Rick is pointing to.

This week I would like you to focus on the thing you are grateful for and/or like about yourself.

Write In Journal

Monday practice

I want you to get our your journal and write 3 things down that you like/love/appreciate about yourself. No one has to read it or agree with it- this is for you.

For some it might take time and feel a little uncomfortable, give yourself the space to reflect and sense into the question and start out where you feel true to yourself. For others maybe all the things you dislike come up first. Allow that to come up and pass. Continue to sit with the question. And eyebrows and fingers count as answers just fine (they were the 2 first on my list when I did this a few years ago…).

Do this every night this week and also reflect on how it feels to write it down?

If you feel called to, please share any thoughts in the comments below.

IMPORTANTO: Before I go I would like to remind you to take these exercises as they feel right. You alone know when it is too much, too little or when you need extra support. Be sensitive towards yourself.

What is Self-compassion? (Copy)

Great question!

Baby Self Love

Some days I feels very unclear and I am judging myself a lot. Other days it feels very clear, and I do not beat myself up.

I believe in exploring, rather than giving answers (to some questions anyway) and I want you to feel into what self-compassion means and feels to you.

When you read the word self-compassion what comes up for you?

But, because it can be helpful to have an wise woman's word I would like to offer Kristin Neff’s thoughts on Self-Compassion. I am truly inspired by her and her work and can highly recommend her book. 

She writes that self-compassion consists of 3 elements: Self-Kindness, Common Humanity and Mindfulness. I feel they interweave, but that the first step is awareness. This brings us to know, and to the only moment we can move forward from.

Practice for this coming week

First step is really to become aware. Checking in and getting intimate with what is. An inner weather report if you will. So I'd like to introduce the short check-in.

Whenever you sit in the car, leave the house, go to the restroom or remember, do the following:

  • Close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths
  • Connect to whatever is going on right now, thoughts, kids screaming, lists and to do’s etc. As best you can without judging or hurrying to change it, just noticing.
  • Sense the body, feet, buttocks, back, hands, head
  • Not changing anything just noticing.
  • When you feel ready open your eyes and continue your day

Do this as many times a day as you feel called to. What do you notice when you check in? Write a few words down in your journal or share in the comments below.

With love

Carina

Mondays... (Copy)

I just sold my company Mindful Ground. This means I can dedicate my full energy to the work that means so much to me - supporting mothers and being a mom. This also means a more consistent presence here on the blog - I am so excited. I have decided to dedicate Mondays to reflections and practices. Each Monday I will be sharing one or the other on the blog. For me it sets the stage for the week to come and even if I only ever touch on the theme that Monday it still has an flows through me throughout my day and sometimes the entire week.

Freedom - mother love

I tend to get lost in all the offers of amazing courses out there. I sign up only to (once again) realize that I am not superwoman, I do not have 10 days a week, I do not have 8 arms or that much energy past 9pm (really it is probably more like 7pm... but who's checking). I am a mom of two kids and that means less time to me and at times also a shorter attention span.

Knowing that and respecting it, all reflections and practices offered here will be short, sweet and doable.

Having studied and worked with meditation for years, I found that after I became a mom the intense and longer practices wouldn't fit into my life to the same extent. For some they feel that the quality of their practice is poorer. This isn't necessarily true. In the work I do I want there to be that understanding - what ever offered it has to be able to integrate into life with kids. All of this to unfold more and more over the coming weeks and months.

During the week I will blog when inspired, but I hope you check in on Mondays, the next many posts are ready to be shared.

A short reflection... 

How could you take a little time to yourself this coming week? It doesn't have to be a lot. A 10 min. break, a walk, a cup of tea, a few yoga poses, closing your eyes and feeling the air against your skin. How does it feel to consciously choose to prioritize YOU?

(Don't beat yourself up if you don't create space this week, allow this reflection or practice to unfold when the time is right).

See you next Monday

With love Carina

I'm out... (Copy)

  So it's my 4 year birthday around this time,  I have been "in business" for 4 years. A lot of soul searching, mistake making and even more confusion has gone through the system.

When  I started out I liked creating, loved it actually. Writing, messing around with pictures and colors and getting it right... for me, reading comments and interacting with those who dropped by.

However, ever since I started out as a self-employed woman I have resisted it on some level. I love being my own boss. I love that I can go to work only wearing socks if I wanted to. But as with any uncommon ground (motherhood, new relationship etc) a little uncertainty sets in, and I at least have felt the need to follow the leaders.

I have joined close to every bizz style course you can - that's what you do eh?  It made me feel like I was doing it right, it would be horrible if I was viewed as unprofessional. So I nudged off track a wee bit. I have failed at pretty much every step I have been told to do. All the systems, because it WOULD make me grow - huh. Well it didn't.

Next thing I know I am tweaking my USP (Unique Selling Position) thinking this is pretty boring and not at all getting my heart in it. Then changing all my profile pictures so they were the same - no one likes a slob. Then creating profiles left right and center on social media sites. Next I am choosing a niche. Then I am driving myself to write "awesome" how to blog posts that always sort came out with the same vibe - the "I don't know, what do you feel?" vibe.

Then a business adviser who's last name was Focking (I kid you not) told me stop writing articles and posts in English and focus on the Danish crowd because that's where I live. And I can (and I think I will in posts to come) go on ...

I am fed up, I needed to go back and start again, with a little more knowledge and a lot more money down the drain.

So here's my new site, that has NONE of the above. And I am totally fine with it. I am back to creating, writing, going with the flow of what sits right with me and you reading. With a big happy birthday to the business

I hope you will join me here, the journey and the small acts of creativity, storytelling and honesty.

<3 Carina

If You Want to Be a Light for Your Family, Truly Evaluate Your Personal Presence (Copy)

Guest post by Haydee Montemayor

Womanhood and motherhood are two powerful forces that unite women worldwide. However, while on the outside we often express a desire to help other women, on the inside, we often gauge our own self-worth by comparing ourselves with other women. When we become mothers, we often compare how our child rearing practices measure up to those of others. Why? Because our ego’s insecurities kick in. We forget that we’re all one.

Mother and Child Reunion

Motherhood has been THE BEST thing that ever happened to me. Shortly after I knew I was carrying a baby in my womb, I felt the most purposeful I’d EVER felt. I knew I was co-creating something special with the Universe and that made me feel important, blessed, worthy and complete. While pregnant, I started connecting with mothers online to help me have a healthy pregnancy and prepare for 100% natural childbirth (which I’m super blessed that I was able to have). And then came the baby :) . I realized then, that I didn’t know everything no matter how much I had read and prepared myself and that I had to and wanted to continue learning and researching how to be a good mother.

All my life I have been a go-getter. But you know what I realized after becoming a mother? That the things we pursue in hopes of happiness prior to becoming a mother are pale in comparison to the satisfaction that being a mother brings.

I also noticed that I'm missing two words in a sentence. It should read like this, can you please change it?
Since the first day that I brought my baby home with me after his birth, I realized that he was the reason why I’ve always enjoyed Edwin McCain’s “I Could Not Ask For More” song lyrics, which say:

“These are the moments I thank God that I’m alive

These are the moments, I’ll remember all my life

I found all I’ve waited for

And I could not ask for more

Looking in your eyes

Seeing all I need

Everything you are is everything to me

These are the moments

I know heaven must exist

These are the moments I know all I need is this

I have all I’ve waited for

And I could not ask for more

 

[Chorus]

I could not ask for more than this time together

I could not ask for more than this time with you

Every prayer has been answered

Every dream I have’s come true

And right here in this moment is right where I’m meant to be

Here with you, here with me.”

Experiencing a deep love for someone and rejection by something in society, as painful as it seems is convenient, because it gives one the perspective one needs. I've experienced first hand, multiple times in multiple settings, the pain, betrayal, guilt and life-sucking existence that comes from being a round peg in a square hole. And I was tired of it.

Once I experienced my rejection, I devoured books, joined challenges, participated in webinars, started a meditation practice, listened to TedTalks and prepared myself to for once, go after my dream and actually convert it into a reality. All this time, I had been waiting for permission to do what I wanted, which was writing. And when I realized that I LITERALLY had nothing else to lose if I wrote, I took this leap of faith.

I'm still amazed how society expects us to give the very best of ourselves, when we're really not allowed to truly be ourselves. There's some sort of disconnect. Don't you think? Of course we all want to improve, but it's hard to be motivated to improve on something that goes against your very nature and your very reason for being. Mothering, thank goodness is natural. Loving is natural. Both of these things are beautiful.

 

So now, aside from being my baby’s primary caregiver first and foremost, I'm a blogger who aims to uplift people by helping them focus on the what they have to work with, personally and in general. I identify with mom bloggers and women entrepreneurs and mothers the most, but I also have plenty of men who follow me. I suppose it's because we can all relate to wanting to enjoy the present more and for wanting to appreciate ourselves perhaps for the first time ever. As moms, our calling to birth and care for a baby is a great treasure. And that is in part, why I named my blog www.loveandtreasure.com. The slogan on my site is "Cherish whom at what you have, fully appreciate what you receive, and expand the radiance you can give."

My blog posts are a brief reminder that not only should we see life as a glass half full, instead of half empty, but we should see ourselves as fuller than we realize, wiser than we realize, more abundant than we realize, because no matter what is going on in our life, we are always blessed and experiencing exactly what it is that we need to be experiencing for us to radiate all of our essence into the world. As long as we can feel present and worthy, we can have the energy to propel our lives and our families forward.

 

Haydee Montemayor’s Bio

Haydee_MontemayorHaydee Montemayor lives with her husband, son and dog in the United States. Even though Haydee has been cautious to put any label on her other than mother, if you had to define her, you could say that she is a:

  • spiritual being, who likes to dream but who, similarly, has a healthy dose of realism that allows her to keep her feet on the ground,
  • someone who doesn’t like rigid conventions
  • a modern day soulful philosopher who is enamored by the “why” and the mechanics of life– especially when it comes to the deep and mystical things in life
  • a mortal and a spirit who always tries to squeeze the most out of everything in life… even those occasional lemons that life hands you. =)
  • a being who is part of the next- generation of spiritual thinkers who is here to embrace life fully and invite others to do the same.
  • a writer
  • an Oprah Winfrey, Dr. Wayne Dyer and Caroline Myss student and follower
  • and most importantly, a loving mother

Haydee’s Commitments to You

“I am committed to inspiring you to love and treasure your family, your nourishment, your love relationships, your friends, your home, your belongings, your body, your mind and your spirit. As a matter of fact, that is why the slogan for the blog is, “Cherish whom at what you have, fully appreciate what you receive, and expand the radiance you can give.” I believe that NOTHING in life will matter— no accomplishment, no salary, no achievement, if you don’t first develop a sense of gratitude for what you already have. And as you’ll learn, if you haven’t already, you already have A LOT of positive things going for you, whether you can see them clearly right now or not. No matter what your financial life looks like, we are richer than the vast majority of the world. Even simple things that we often take for granted like electricity and plumbing make us so. But we have to be present enough to see these things in order to be of any value to the world.”

 

How I Show Up In My Life And Keep Grounded (Copy)

Guest post by Rosie Slosek

I've always been a passionate live wire, it's part of who I am. I love having energy, ambition and enthusiasm. It's also important to be calm and relaxed, and that's why being grounded matters so much to me. It helps me gets done what needs to happen for what's important.

This is how I prioritise it in my life.

 

Daily I have this voice in my head about what I should be like as a woman. I expect you know what I'm talking about. That voice gets a severe talking to several times a day and slowly it is being evicted from my head. I also have lots of little luxuries to nurture my sense of self. A cup of tea, a square of chocolate, a short walk, five minutes online window shopping. It re-centres me and reminds me who I am, my goals, and to stay on track.

Weekly  Every week I have an artist date (from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron). I go to a local coffee shop and enjoy uninterrupted time to pause, relax, or write. Sometimes it's about my business, sometimes it isn't. It's whatever I need that day. I'm writing this on an artist date with a cup of tea by my side.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Artists-Way-Discovering-Recovering/dp/0330343580/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1389652357&sr=8-1&keywords=julia+cameron

My other weekly ritual is yoga in the church hall. The teacher encourages, supports, and tucks a blanket over you if it's cold. It's such gentle exercise using every muscle in a relaxing way, and it's calming for my mind.

Monthly I go to heart-centred networking events at least once a month. Each meeting is an opportunity to re-evaluate and recommit to my goals. Heart-centred networking is the kind where you can relax, be yourself, and no-one will save you warm white wine or shove a business card in your face and then walk off. Meetup.com is a great site to find events and they don't need to be business orientated. They've made a real difference to me given my tendency to isolate myself. http://www.meetup.com/

Online Community My online community buddies are the best. They support and encourage me, they share my content, comment on my blog posts, share joys and disappointments, and I know someone is always there to help. It'a a good balance to the negativity in my head that's easy to get hung up on. It's very grounding.

There are lots of communities online and I often do e-courses for the people. Courses from Dexterous Diva, The Freelance Lifestyle and Rosalilium been such a help to me. We do the contact together and it's made a measurable difference to me personally and my bottom line.

http://dexterousdiva.co.uk/

http://www.emmacossey.com/

http://www.rosalilium.com/

Showing up in my life means being present in the moment and appreciating life through the ups, downs, joys and mundane. When I'm grounded daily, weekly, monthly and through community. I am more available to my partner and loved ones and what really matters in my life.

It's so invigorating being around such inspiring women in my life, and community is what keeps us all going forward.

Here's to us! Share in the comments what helps keep you grounded to what matters in your life.

Rigtig godt klaret af os! Del gerne dine erfaringer i en kommentar!

Riktigt bra jobbat av oss! Dela med dig av dina erfarenheter i kommentarerna! [Swedish]

Riktig godt jobbet! Del gjerne dine erfaringer i kommentarfeltet! [Norwegian]

Hyvin tehty! Jätä kommentti ja kerro sinun omista kokemuksista. [Finnish]

 

About Rosie rosieblogRosie Slosek is a money expert who lives and works in London. She specialises in offering money management and tax return support to freelancers and one person businesses.

Rosie sends a brownie to every client.

http://onemanbandaccounting.co.uk/

https://twitter.com/1ManBandAccts

https://www.facebook.com/onemanbandaccounting

From Hidden to Seen - My Struggle with Keeping Myself Small (Copy)

Guest Post by Daisy Hernandez

"Life is but a dream, said someone once. And I truly believe it. Like a dream, it can end abruptly and all you're left with are the experiences lived." - dh

From Hidden to Seen - My Struggle with Keeping Myself Small

I was once on the other side of that quote. I was on the side of life being somewhat of a nightmare; I had somehow become a bit of a cynic between my teen years and late twenties. But you wouldn't have guessed it by simply looking at me or even talking to me, I've always been somewhat of a 'ray of sunshine'. But when I felt blue, everything I looked at was blue and that ray became but a glimmer.

Instead of lifting myself up, I'd put myself back down. There was a sense of comfort being there, so I stayed there. Plus the company I would keep was no help in changing that, on the contrary.

I got a point where I wanted something different and when depression crossed my mind, I went looking for a counsellor. His words forever changed my world. He said: "You're too much of a giver. And you need to give to yourself first, before you can give to others." Strange, right? In my world it was.

Freedom

Being Latina, there's a level of respect you must give to elders, a sense of submission to men, and a level of service to everyone else. As women, no matter the family that raised you, this becomes part of your culture and therefore, you.

Though I've always been feisty, trying to abide by such rules was near impossible. Not because I wanted to be disrespectful, but because I felt that any level of respect must be earned, submission should be a choice not a given, and service...well, that I could stand by.

Having been brought up in two different cultures (first years in Latin America, later years in the Great White North), you can guess the confusion inside of me. What I felt I should do vs what I was told to do because of a cultural background. All of this was rooted deep within me without me understanding it fully, it wasn't at a conscious level. But the uneasy feeling was very much there.

My counsellor's words hit me like a bucket of freezing water. And subconsciously, it did something. I began to notice that whenever I felt blue from then on, rather than drown myself in depressive music, I'd do the opposite. I created a playlist labeled "Lift Up" and songs like "Mickey" and "The Look" became part of its repertoire. I'd cut that comfort in half and began to move into a completely different territory.

I began shifting my mindset. I somehow became stronger, I began showing my strength. I saw the many possibilities of being ME and standing up for what I wanted. It was like night and day.

Even my company took at 180 turn. I gave up my relationship with a close relative, ended my relationship with my partner, jumped on a very scary unknown way of life. A new apartment, new possibilities.

What does that have to do with giving? I was giving myself time and space to come back into myself.

I began to learn how to take care of myself, how to help myself feel my best from within and began to feel lighter. No more heavy thinking or carrying the whole world on my shoulders.

It all started with a baby step. Identifying change is possible and putting things in place to help move me forward.

And hey, there are challenging days. It's not all picture perfect, but now I know it's my choice to drown or swim.

My roots will always be a part of me but, just as you can choose what to wear every morning, you can also choose what to carry with you.

I will continue to respect others, serve others, and at times, be submissive...but it's all my choice. Not the choices others want for me.

And I think that's important, to make that distinction between following versus considering.

There's no way I could have ever imagined jumping into an entrepreneurial role, helping other women embrace their uniqueness and guide them toward a lighter way of life that supports their "over the top" goals, with the comfort level I had in keeping myself hidden from the world.

My challenge to you is to identify a baby step you can start taking NOW to move you toward the stronger you that's been hidden.

About Daisy

Daisy HernandezDaisy Hernandez is the creator of Pura Chica Natural, a digital resource dedicated to empowering long-term change by shifting into a cleaner, stronger, more powerful version of yourself - naturally! She offers personal 1:1 sessions in both English & Spanish, self-paced programs such as the Challenge Your Cravings ecourse, and full, fun-loving support to help make that shift happen.

Connect with her on Facebook (Facebook.com/PuraChicaNatural), Twitter (twitter.com/purachicantrl), Instagram (instagram.com/daisyhdez), YouTube (youtube.com/user/PuraChicaNaturalTV)

Cheers to Fear: A Powerful Life Lesson Happy Women Can’t Live Without (Copy)

Guest Post by Elspeth Misiaszek

On January 6, 2011 my business partner called me into his office. He looked me right in the eye and said, “I need to go at this solo.”

Right there on the spot, like I was garbage being thrown to the street, he fired me.

My entire body went completely still. A wave of angst and … absolute calm? … washed over me.

Like a flash, all the years of late nights, hundreds of handshakes, thousands of phone calls, and blisters from long days door-knocking zipped right through me. I felt something I’d never, ever imagined I could feel.

I felt grateful. When I joined the company, it was a start-up corporation. I left my job, started dating this man whom I truly believed in, and gave myself, heart and soul, to his lifelong dream of business ownership.

But there was a problem. He simply wasn’t as smart as my naïve rosy glasses made him out to be. He’d miscalculated how much money he’d need for overhead; there wasn’t a dime left over for my salary.

What should have been my leap of faith into a life of entrepreneurial independence quickly turned into a test of loyalty. I’d resigned from my job and moved in with him, leaving behind my old life. There was nothing to go back to.

After a few years, when we ended our relationship, we agreed that I had accrued sweat-equity in the business equivalent to my unpaid wages. He was able to fire me (he was the majority partner regardless) thanks to my own absolute stupidity; I hadn’t gotten our agreement in writing.

It was his loss, as well, to feel he could go at it solo. I earned the business from 50% to 60% of its gross sales, over $120,000 my third year. I was the face of the company, showing up at every local event possible. All of the biggest residual clients were thanks to my follow-through.

But I was also a fool. Because in the end, there was really only one thing that held me back. A thing that every single one of us lives with. A thing so deep and so dark most of us would rather ignore it than admit it’s there.

In the end, I blame my fear for keeping me by his side. For three years, it blinded me from moving powerfully forward into my own success, even as his personal flaws were amplified by a business spotlight.

But in one sentence, in one swift action, his choice changed it all for me. I was free of him, free of the needy business baby, and free to find what was next for me.

eMarketing Copywriter was born in 2011. I have always been a writer, but, truthfully, I exceled at sales as well. My skill set in small business has allowed me to quadruple my income from year one to year three.

And you know what? I am still humbled every single day to get to do what I love. The message I have for every single woman entrepreneur I meet is a simple one:

Chears to fear

Embrace your fear. Take all of your negative energy, sad days, and bad vibes, and transition them into something positive. If you feel angry at a colleague, turn your anger into a business lesson. When an employee lets you down, switch it over to a reflection on your management style.

Most of all, cry when you need to. Let yourself sob like a child while you acknowledge that it’s only pure, natural fear lurking somewhere deep. After all, the fear might make you pause for a minute, or redden your eyes for the night, but you sure as hell should never, ever let it stop you.

And while it may not be entirely relevant, I’m sure you’ll want a synopsis of how he’s doing since my life moved on. In March of 2011, my COBRA health insurance policy was canceled due to lack of payment on his part.

In 2012, I sued him for back wages … and won. He continued to pay me a decent little court appointed sum every month for over a year. The payments were consistently ‘in the mail’ almost a month late.

When a business colleague called me a few weeks ago, she said she hadn’t seen him in almost three years.  In fact, she didn’t even know what had become of him or his business. Nor, added my powerful, wonderful, amazing executive friend, did she care. I feel exactly the same way.

Too busy to draft your own content? Hire a ghostwriter.

http://www.emarketingcopywriter.comAbout Elspeth Elspeth Misiaszek uses her writing and online marketing skills to help vegan businesses, coaches and entrepreneurs increase sales on their websites and blogs. Email today for a free consultation. Check out Elspeth's website here http://www.emarketingcopywriter.com/

[Day 28] Tying up loose ends (Copy)

Do you have an endless list of little things that you need to get done? Things that seems less important but still tend to create stress, or maybe comments from your partner (my house :))? Is there a book you want to finish? Is there an email you need to send, but have been putting off doing?

Procrastination sounds a little like an illness - maybe for some it feels like it. Other times the big things get put in line first leaving the little things to pile up and they begin to feel a bigger. Do you know the feeling?

You know that getting them done can leave you feeling so satisfied and peaceful. Not getting it not can foster judgement and a harsh tone towards yourself. This is also a good practice to sort through what you actually can do, and what is out of your limit.

Being mindful can help you out of constant worry and obsession about these kind of things. And today I would like you to look at it two fold.

1. Are there are any little things, that you have been putting off doing, that you can finish today? How does it feel to tie that end?

2. Is there something that feels unfinished but is out of your "power" to finish? How does that feel? How could you bring in your practice and let it be, even it is just for a moment. Can you create space for yourself? How could you tie that end for yourself?

Now write a post or grab your journal and write about your reflections, experience and share your story.

1. Add the URL http://www.mindfulground.com/day-28-tying-loose-ends as a TrackBack link

2. Add a comment below with a few words about your post with a link to the blogpost

[Day 27] Sit... again (Copy)

Haven't we done that already? Well yes but I would like to bring in some formal meditation again. It is an important part of a mindfulness practice. Is it a time where you have decided and commit to being with yourself and what arises as you sit or lay down. Reflections, time, writing, resistance, confusion, wanting more of the good stuff can bring you to your head a lot.

Today we are bringing awareness back to the present moment, to what is happening right now. I would also like for you to notice if getting yourself to sit has become easier, harder, the same throughout this challenge? Do you feel more motivated?

A long time ago when I did my first training, I felt that the more I meditated, read about meditation, went on retreats, the less I knew. At one point I said to my teacher "I don't think I know what mindfulness is", her reply was "Well, now you are ready to teach". I don't know that I was, but the point is that Mindfulness is a billion different things. Awareness of what is shines a light on whatever experience is there. You can sit 1000 times, and the next time is like none of the other. What is it like for you to sit this time?

You can go back to Day 3 for link, instructions or as I know many of you already have guides etc. that you use.

Sit for 20 minutes. What comes up when you read 20 minutes? Can you take that time for yourself? Are there many reasons why you can't? How about reasons why you CAN?

Now write a post or grab your journal and write about your reflections, experience and share your story.

1. Add the URL http://www.mindfulground.com/day-27-sit-again as a TrackBack link

2. Add a comment below with a few words about your post with a link to the blogpost

A good read

[Day 24] Pleasure (Copy)

  What is pleasure to you? Is pleasure a priority in your everyday life? Is hasn't been in mine, life has been very (way too) serious at times and play and pleasure haven't come natural.

Why is pleasure important? Well pleasure is just as much a part of life as pain and suffering. It is shown to release stress and strengthens your immune system. It changes our mood and sensations in the body. Sometimes we just don't have our eyes on it. Pleasure shows up in many different ways and forms. In times of sorrow it may be very subtle other times it run through your whole body.

Spending a little time enjoying pleasure can rejuvenate your system, bring happiness to life and it is there - but how does it show up? Pleasure is an individual experience, such as pain, stress, suffering. So tending to your own experience is important. Do you have a tendency to only note the big events in life? Does as nice view, bath, smell, hug count?

Also here's a link to an inspiring TEDtalk on pleasures of everyday life.

How does pleasure show up for you today? What does it feel like?

Now write a post or grab your journal and write about your reflections, experience and share your story.

1. Add the URL http://www.mindfulground.com/day-24-pleasure/ as a TrackBack link

2. Add a comment below with a few words about your post with a link to the blogpost

[Day 20] with Ilse Van de Wiele (Copy)

 INCORPORATE SOME MORE WATER IN YOUR LIFE TODAY

Water. Much has been said about this subject. ‘Everyone knows’ one should drink at least one and a half liters of it a day for good health. ‘Everyone knows’ it is good for your health. Then why does not ‘everyone’ manage to do this and is there so much illness in the world caused by dehydration?

No, it is not that you are of bad will. No, I do not believe you lack discipline. The reasons for it could be many, some of which I will list here:

  • You have been told wrong information about ‘water’, while being lead to believe it was true.

  • You are drinking the wrong kind of water for your body (oh yes, water can be different from water. More about this later).

There was a time when I thought I knew all about it. When I look at it now, I could not have been any more wrong. It should have been obvious though, as I was walking right into disease after disease. I gained 26 kilo’s in less than half a year, had bladder infections for 2 years straight, with no solution that actually worked, had severe pains in my shoulders and hip, bordering on arthritic joint pains, had headaches at the drop of a penny, was feeling tired all day and lacked the energy one would expect at 36 years of age.

So, what’s the big deal about water?

Water is a basic of life, just like oxygen, before food and all other essentials of life even. We all know that. Without water, the body would die faster than without food. And we usually eat 3x a day at least. But do we also drink water often enough?

If we don’t, the body gets dehydrated. Some people think that is something only possible if one got lost in the desert and had to go without water for several days. The truth is that chronic dehydration is widespread. Most of us are continually in a state of dehydration without even knowing it.

WHY?

According to the Mayo Clinic, the average adult loses more than 10 cups of water every day, simply by breathing, perspiring and eliminating waste. When water is lacking, numerous functions start getting in trouble. Some of the resulting symptoms are: headaches, constipation, brain fog, digestive disorders, skin disorders, weight gain, high blood pressure, joint problems and afternoon fatigue. Many other ailments are the result of too little water. By the time any of these common symptoms arise, dehydration has already progressed to the point where water is being rationed in the body, for a long time already. Long-term water rationing leads to premature aging and disease.

The best is to drink plenty of water throughout the day. The best time one could start, is at wake-up time. I try to drink 1-2 glasses of good quality water every morning before breakfast. It helps my body to activate internal organs.

I drink one glass of good quality water about 10-20 minutes before each meal, this helps my body to digest everything easier.

When I crave something, whatever it may be, I try drinking 1-2 glasses of water and wait 15 minutes. If by then the craving is gone (which happens often), I leave it at that, just recognize I was thirsty. Very often people think they are hungry, when in fact the body is giving signals that it is dehydrated.

How much water is the right amount to drink each day? This is different for each person. It is believed that 2-3 liters is the average daily for an adult body.

It also depends on so many factors. Some people drink coffee or alcohol daily, others don’t. It is advised that one, for each cup of coffee  or glass of alcohol, one is best to drink twice that amount in water, just to replenish the water that is lost by drinking that. The same with soft drinks, although they seem to require even more water for their harmful effects to be flushed out of the system.

What can then be counted as water intake, in addition to plain water? Soup is usually fine, so is herbal tea as long as it does not contain caffeine. Nettle tea is quite good, this helps to detoxify the body.

Now what if you have tried all the above and you find you are simply not able to take in more water than, let’s say, ¾ of a liter without feeling bloated? Well, even then there’s nothing wrong with you.

I ran into this very situation some years ago. No matter how hard I tried, and I did try very hard, I could never drink more than a liter. And even that was at the cost of feeling comfortable, as I was usually feeling very bloated for the rest of the day.

Or what if you have been told: if you drink enough water, you will lose weight. So you have been drinking and drinking, but it just doesn’t seem to happen. Or maybe you have instead gained weight and now think that drinking water makes you gain weight instead of losing it.

In both cases, you may not be drinking the right kind of water for your body. You see, there is water, through the way its ions cluster, which can only be assimilated by the body for about 15%. The ions are too large to hydrate the body much and do not get used.

On the contrary, there is other water of which the ions in the water are much smaller and thus 85% of what you drink can be assimilated by the body cells. Needless to say, one needs much less of this water to achieve the same hydration as the type of water described above.

The result of drinking the latter? You feel more energized, you look and feel younger, wrinkles get smaller or disappear completely, you get ill less often and if a germ manages to enter the body, it is being dealt with faster and with much less discomfort.

So, if you are looking to have more energy, age gracefully, be more healthy and no longer suffering from the what is believed to be ‘normal’ symptoms of getting older, try drinking more water. It may just help.

Now write a post or grab your journal and write about your reflections, experience and share your story.

1. Add the URL  http://www.mindfulground.com/day-20-with-ilse-van-de-wiele/ as a TrackBack link

2. Add a comment below with a few words about your post with a link to the blogpost

About Ilse Van de Wiele

Ilse is a Holistic Health Coach, graduate of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition in New York. She helps parents to age gracefully and provide a healthy life for their children, businessmen to gain more energy and people with weight issues to achieve their goals with lasting results. She is part of the Advisory Board of the National Health Federation. Her mission: to help people unravel any confusions on health, discover some basic truths on it and help them to make educated and conscious decisions with regards to their health and that of their loved ones.

Out of the responses to this challenge, I will give 2 people a 50 minute free health coach session.  Just leave me your e-mail address, so we can set up the free session at a time that suits you.

Free offer for 2 people that do the challenge:

Amongst those doing the challenge en writing down what it did for them, I will pull out 2 names who will get a 50 minute free health coach session from me. I just need their e-mail address, so we can set up the free session at a time that suits them.

[Day 19] What's your tone? (Copy)

  There's no doubt that for a lot of us, our tone towards ourselves isn't always that kind. The inner critic takes handles a lot of the inner dialogue. What it says seems to be VERY individual. Does the tone of your self talk set you free or rob your freedom?

A commonly used image is the one of you and a friend, begin talking to a friend and see how long they would stand the tone which you use on yourself. If it kind and gentle it probably makes them feel good, loved and accepted. If it is harsh, well how long would they put up with you talking them that way? How would it make them feel? And even more important why do we feel it is ok to talk to ourselves that way?

Sometimes we may feel that a harsh tone serves us. It is what keeps us motivated to do better - is that true? Maybe it protects you, if you name it first then it won't sting so bad as it does when coming from others. Does putting yourself down actually serve you?

If your tone is kind and loving then how does that support you in life? How does that serve you?

This may be a tender subject for you and please be gentle with yourself. <3

Now write a post or grab your journal and write about your reflections, experience and share your story.

1. Add the URL  http://www.mindfulground.com/day-19-what-is-your-tone/ as a TrackBack link

2. Add a comment below with a few words about your post with a link to the blogpost

Share the love

Click to tweet: working with the self talk tone via @mindfulground 30 day living #mindfully blog challenge http://tinyurl.com/lwl77eu #mindful #selfcompassion

[Day 18] - Slow down (Copy)

  I am posting a video today with Thich Nhat Hanh. He has written a book about walking meditation and I love this little video. I am sharing it with you as inspiration, but not because you have to do a walking meditation.

Especially listen to what he says about pace. This is not to judge or say that slow is ALWAYS better, just to investigate what slower feels like.

I would really like you to notice your pace during your day.

Now write a post or grab your journal and write about your reflections, experience and share your story.

1. Add the URL  http://www.mindfulground.com/day-18-slow-down/ as a TrackBack link

2. Add a comment below with a few words about your post with a link to the blogpost

Recommended reading

Walking Meditation

By, Thich Nhat Hanh

[Day 16] with Caroline Cain (Copy)

As a mom, dad, well human being guilt can often be the predominant emotion pervading your days. Whereas before (before kids, before having your own business etc.) you might have felt more fear, more hesitation, more of a lack of confidence, this generally seems to turn to guilt.

Guilty of not spending enough time with your children, for not being fully present when you are with them. Guilty of not putting more time and effort into your business or job. Guilty of not having the time or space to give your partner a hug, let alone speak about anything other than your business or the kids.

Saying ‘sorry’ seems to be your default throughout the day in this modern way of living where you expect to be all and do all for everyone. It can be so easy to focus on lack, on what we aren’t doing rather than what we ARE doing.

‘What are three things that you ARE doing ‘right’’?

Now write a post or grab your journal and write about your reflections, experience and share your story.

1. Add the URL  http://www.mindfulground.com/day-16-with-caroline-cain/ as a TrackBack link

2. Add a comment below with a few words about your post with a link to the blogpost

About Caroline Cain  Caroline Cain is a Success Coach for Mum Entrepreneurs looking to create a meaningful career and a fabulous home life. Trained as a Nutritionist, she is also a Lifestyle Mentor, Mother, Girlfriend, Buddhist, Modern day nomad who works internationally with women entrepreneurs. She helps them to create exceptional business success and home life balance, health and a lifestyle that supports them to fulfill their purpose. Caroline lives by the motto that ‘life happens’; flexibility and a fierce commitment to imperfection are vital ingredients for happiness and success.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/CaroCain FB: facebook.com/carolinecainofficialpage

[Day 14] What have you learned so far? (Copy)

Congratulations you have completed 2 weeks of challenges, writing and reflecting - great work. Today is all about going back and looking at what you have learned so far - if anything.

This is also a chance to do some of the challenges you haven't had time to do, or have been putting off for other reasons.

Here's a list of what we have looked at up until now: 

[Day 1] Welcome to the Challenge

[Day 2] B R E A T H E

[Day 3] Sit

[Day 4] How do you treat your body?

[Day 5] with Belinda Pate-Macdonald

[Day 6] What are you grateful for?

[Day 7] Enjoy a cup

[Day 8] Look up!

[Day 9] with Michael Haupt

[Day 10] Unplug

[Day 11] Do you get enough sleep?

[Day 12] Are you impatient?

[Day 13] with Stephanie Lin

What have learned so far? About yourself, being mindful, blogging? 

Now write a post or grab your journal and write about what you have learned up until now.

1. Add the URL  http://www.mindfulground.com/day-14-what-have-you-learned-so-far/ as a TrackBack link

2. Add a comment below with a few words about your post with a link to the blogpost