Simple Pleasures vol. 1

Simple pleasures, but why not aim for the big mind-blowing out of this world experiences. I like simple. I find joy in the small(er) things, as they bring me to where I already am. What is right here. What can be enjoyed, seen and felt here. It's not hunting sensation or avoiding pain, it is waking up to the pleasure of life.

When I was at several anxiety attacks a day, keeping myself indoors, afraid of living because it felt too painful - one of the things that supported the transition into feeling alive again was opening up to the "little" things. A nice shower, a song I fell in love with, a kiss, a hug, a good laugh, the sun, silence, sounds.

Funny thing is, I haven't felt the need to move away from those things, they are what life is to me. Simple pleasures happen everyday, and they make me feel full, content. Big bursts of special occasions are cool, but not what I live for. They do not make my daily life rich.

So for inspiration I will be sharing a simple pleasures series on the blog, and welcome to vol. 1. Grab what resonates or use the direction to open up to the things in your life.

Here we go.

Moving to the tunes...

I have fallen in love with a young woman from Tennessee. Valerie Junemakes me wanna move, fills my body with ease, touches something deep inside. Music has always done crazy things to me, and I love to dance. This week this song has done the trick. Enjoy.

For fun...

David Lynch Weekend

A lonesome evening, when the kids were finally asleep and I found myself bored - I ran through Instagram and found the funniest # ever. I laughed till I cried which can be weird when you are on your own.

It is #whymysoniscrying

Now the funny thing is not the photos of crying children.

What makes it so funny are the reasons they are crying. The situations where you as a parent feel you have dropped into the closing scene of a David Lynch movie - What, why, where, I don't get it (still have no clue what Lost Highway was about).

Like when you give your kids the snack they specifically asked for, but placed the plate an inch in the wrong direction and it is mayhem for about 15 mins. Or you walked into a room, not knowing it was going to ruin their day. Or you breath too close to them etc. It is funny because, thankfully you realize you are not alone, and that the frustration seems to be universal.

If you need a laugh check out that hashtag on instagram.

For stillness...

Sitting outside...

...closing your eyes and feeling the air and wind against your face. Sensing the crispness of winter. We don't have to make it formal and call it mediation, or set ourselves up to all sorts of things. Just that moment when you allow yourself a moment of stillness, to just be. Letting your body sink a little deeper to where you are. Knowing that space has nothing to do with time. It can be for one in breath or 100. How does it feel.

Stillness simpel pleasures

We have gone crazy

Mouse

My clients always tell me how frustrating it is that their thoughts are ruining their attempt to meditate. Thoughts make so much noise that it blocks the inner peace they set out to feel.

I'll get back to that...

Well, us city people are feeling the sweetness of country living in a, well lets put it lightly, challenging way… We have mice EVERYWHERE.

The first day, we tore the house apart stuffing holes, cleaning, pulling our hair and finally collapsing in the middle of chaos trying to find energy for the clean-up…

Really happy and satisfied with round 1 of the war against mice - we went to bed. We woke up and there was MORE mouse droppings all over the house - say what? How did this happen.

We discussed the same procedure as yesterday neither of us had the energy. We discussed moving - seemed like less of a deal then the clean up. And setting the house on fire was up for a while too.

The kids looked scared, so we went with cleaning. And the past week has continued in this fun little dance. My partner wakes up looking manic and angry. I have gone into everything is so weird it’s funny, which is calming no one.

Last night the little pain was back again. The kids are finally (jinxed?) sleeping through the night, but last night our ol' pal Mr. mouse sounded like he was rearranging walls... So there I was banging on things at 3am in the morning. Couldn't find my glasses, so with a lack of visual I was making random noises with no clear plan and talking in tongue to myself.

It dawned on me in all the madness, as we were working ourselves up to crazy, it is the same way with thoughts.

We fight them like mouse-busting. The more they stay, increase and drop(ping) in our mind, the more frustrated and desperate we get. So I get that the mouse has to stay out of the kitchen, but I don’t want them gone off the face of the earth. I feel they are gross in my food, but cute when I see them jumping around outside.

As with thoughts they have the right to be here, they have a function and aren’t the enemy. They do however have a place, and nor the whole picture or defining factor about how you feel about your "house".

So how do you relate to your thoughts? Do they overwhelm you? Do you feel you have to run with or after every thought that floats by?

I believe that there is such freedom in allowing our thoughts to come and go, and not feeling that we need to tend and kill every single one.

Life status: It’s complicated…

Simple living

I know complicated! Yet I have never dealt with it well. Every time someone says “It’s complicated” I feel heaviness in my body - no thank you, never mind.

I am in many ways simple minded. I loose the storyline in sci-fi movies. I feel confused 3 lines in... “In a galaxy far far away, xanax-3000 was moving himself through time using a vibrator on fire. Humans on planet shiatsu were threatened as they had started becoming so full of themselves” Huh… ?? After 30 minutes of my boyfriend trying to explain it,  we both accept that I will catch 1/3 of the story and enjoy falling asleep to it instead.

I could never concentrate for more than 5 minutes reading anything scientific.

The harder the better. The more the merrier... not so much for me.

I feel that secretly, we glorify busy - doing more. Not out loud, no no we hate busy - but someone who say “Oh this week, yeah I went for a few walks and read a book”, it doesn’t really stir up a lot. Someone who has 2 jobs, runs the family neatly, looks great, works out, flew across the world in a day, volunteers for 3 charities, and does her husband 6 times a week, is awesome.

I am not devaluing any of it, but I do feel we in some ways as a society we have put complicated on a pedestal. The more complicated, the more value. The more praise and awe. But is there a shift happening here?

The most complicated for me was when worry became anxiety and darkness took over. Trying to manage the future, my thoughts, my identity crisis, people’s misunderstanding and disappointment, work, money, wanting more (of everything), the city, stress, relationship, body, health, exercise, getting better, faking it and making it, family, meditation, business, my own demands…. argh someone hit the stop button. So many choices, that it almost numbs me.

I have done complicated.

This year we chose to move from the city to the house I have talked about a few times. We wanted more simplicity in our life. We wanted to reduce the costs of living. We wanted to work less. We wanted our kids to see us more. We wanted to filter out some of the constant noise and stimulation of the city. All the doing was robbing me from what I was actually working so hard to have - happiness.

I am not perfect. It is a transition and complicated still get’s to me. I do however feel a HUGE shift in energy and ease when I choose simple. When I let it all drop and look at what makes my life rich - it’ s not more stuff or moneto.

Simple isn't for everyone. We need the people who can do the science and work out complicated stuff. I too like to dream and admire the academics who I have no clue what are saying half of the time.

But HOW MUCH of it ALL do we ALL need, ALL of the time?

Simple to me is freedom.

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My 1:1 Intensive is a one to one 90 minute session for hardworking women who want to simplify their daily lives.

Working alongside me, in those 90 minutes we will look at what hasn't worked in the past, work towards sustainable ways to simplify, and most important look at the patterns that are no longer serving you.

At the moment, adding more into an already demanding schedule probably isn’t working for you; when can you really fit this in?

Let me show you how.

Read more...

When the stress releaser, becomes the stress increaser

women and stress

I can’t begin to count how many times I have heard “I should meditate at least 20 minutes a day” or “ I have to do yoga in the morning or it won’t work” or “ I just failed at it this week”.

We embark on these journeys with great intentions, we know it feels good when we slow down and tune in, or we hope it will - the article said so.

Then we roll up our sleeves and get to it the practice. The first week was great. You felt the benefits, it was nice to take the time for yourself, your family were good with it (maybe to your surprise). 

Then week two, "shit, the meeting was moved" and you didn’t keep the momentum going that day, your kid got sick and you feel asleep on the only night that you really could have worked some practice in. 

Oh no, now a little stress sets in, now it won’t work, you failed and it was just too hard to fit in. You feel that you should be doing and that the commitment you made just is more stress, then actually benefits of meditating, doing yoga, going for walks in nature etc. This was not the point AT ALL.

Do you recognize the essence of this? 

First thing: you can't be meditate wrong!

Second, there are a few things in play here; life, impatience, maybe the stretch from 0 to 45 minutes of meditation every day was too big. Shoulding which almost never motivated pleasurable and simple action.

I really want to help you create a sustainable practice, to expand presence in your life, without creating more stress in the process.

Join me for this free tele class

Mindful Woman

I will share 3 tips to support you to begin and create a sustainable meditation practice in your life, without increasing stress in your life. If you can't join live, no worries, a recording will be sent within 24 hours, to everyone who signs up.

You can do this. You aren’t doing it wrong. We will look at how to simplify to create a sustainable path for you.

Sign up here

Email Address

First Name

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Episode #15 with Ellen Nightingale

ellennightin

Ellen and I share a favorite quote. I knew as soon as I saw here website that I had to interview this woman.

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.” 

~Maya Angelou

She works with moms to support communication skills and attachment skills. She works with moms who have children with special needs, and focuses on helping her clients find their voices and tell their stories.

Ellen Nightingale is a speech-language pathologist, coach, and writer. She currently leads workshops and retreats for moms to help them find their voices and tell their stories.

She stopped by to talk about speaking our truth, the importance of story and motherhood.

Check her out here:

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

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Join me for this free tele class

Mindful Woman

I will share 3 tips to support you to begin and create a sustainable meditation practice in your life, without increasing stress in your life. If you can't join live, no worries, a recording will be sent within 24 hours, to everyone who signs up.

You can do this. You aren’t doing it wrong. We will look at how to simplify to create a sustainable path for you.

Sign up here

Email Address

First Name